Is Love Enough?

The sighting

Flashback

Lights flash and music blares. The alcohol is flowing and I can see drunks stumbling outside. I glance over at Jodie, to see her looking straight. She sees me looking at her and turns and smiles at me. She is wearing a tight fitting, red dress that barely covers her ass, her blonde hair was straightened and long. Her shoes were Jimmy Choo red stilettos with 12 inch heals. I'd done her make up earlier in the night in a way that brought out her ice blue eyes. I'd run black mascara over her eyelashes and black kohl with crimson lip stick. To sum it up she looked. Drop. Dead. Gorgeous. Me, I was dressed in a black dress with that was fitted and the top and flared out at the bottom. It was mid thigh length and absolutely gorgeous. My make up was black kohl that flicked up at the end dramatically, with black mascara, and natural lip gloss. My shoes were black and had a 11inch heal that lengthen my already long legs. My dark brown hair was done in curls mid way down my back and I had a silk, black purse with me too. With both looked stunning. We walked in and I was greeted with the familiar scent of alcohol and drugs. Disgusting. We walked over to a group of friends where I sat on my boyfriends lap, Ryan. After a few minutes we were in full make out mode. I pulled back and rested my fore head on Ryan's. I saw he had lip gloss coating his face. I giggled and rubbed it away.

" I love you so much," he whispered, in my ear

"I love you too," I whispered back

And that was true. I loved Ryan. He was my forever. Or so I thought.

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*beep beep beep beeep*

I was woken to the familiar sound of my alarm clock. Ugh. First day back at school. First day of year six. By the end of this year I would have been going to this school for a year and a half. I had gone through that whole time with only having two friends. No one wanted to know the new, depressed girl, with the exception of Sam and Max. Yeah you heard me right, depressed. I've been battling with depression, anorexia and self harm for about a year now. I've gone through nine councillors and they haven't made much difference. I cannot remember the night that caused all this, I have flash backs all the time but there pointless or the longer ones are all the same. Jodie and me walking into the party and me going over and sitting on Ryan's lap and him saying I love you and me say I love you too. Before that night my life was perfect. I'm not exaggerating on that either. I was a gorgeous, loved girl who was popular, had the hottest guy in my year as a boyfriend and I lived in a massive, fancy house. After that night, I was dropped from popularity because I couldn't remember it, Ryan dumped me, my parents got a divorce because of me, and me and my Mum moved out of town further down Scotland. she had to leave her job so she is now on a minimum wage and we lost a lot of money with court and my Dad getting a lot too, so Mum works all the time. I spent most of my first year with no friends. People had tried to be my friend but I hadn't let them in, I was still going through the pain of not remembering that night and my friends and boyfriend abandoning me. But Max and Sam still became my friends in the end, they were both outsiders too. Max is hilarious and acts really gay even though he isn't. He has black hair which he sticks up with loads of gel and brown eyes. He's always there if you need a shoulder to cry on which is great. Sam on the other hand has blonde curly hair. She is a Tom boy for sure. She has ice blue eyes and is really funny but in a completely different way. Put them both together and you have comedy gold! I dressed for school in a white singlet, black skinny jeans and a black leather jacket. I applied some make up and ran a brush through my hair. I stared at my reflection. I really had changed from two years ago. Two years ago I would have coated my hair in product before straightening or curling it then sometimes wearing it in a ponytail, bun or plait. I would have worn designer clothes and a lot of make up. Today I didn't care. I don't live up to anyone's expectations apart from my own now. If you try and live up to others expectations you just end up disappointing them because whatever you do it is never enough. That's humans for you.