The first K-pop mv I've seen other than Gangnam style was Exo-Growl 🤣😆 My age went up day by day.I began watching more k-pop videos, there are some groups that I stan,like Wanna one,Got 7, Straykids,etc.. We can say that I'm a multi stan even with Girl groups.
I really adore them like who wouldn't?!! They're soo good at dancing, singing, they have a pretty voice, they're soo beautiful.. i really like them..
I started learning their choreography tho I'm really bad at it I wanna be like them.... My dream is to become a k-pop idols since I'm 14,my parents even saw me dancing many times but they didn't wanna pay attention to it.
I began digging up about k-pop idols about how they suffered... That would be a lot a pain,I believe some of them would think of giving up.I know that if I become a trainee I would face those problems but I still wanna be a k-pop idol.Even my dad heard about how company treated their idols like not giving them their salary,a strict diet,etc.Whenever I talked about being an idol he said that I couldn't handle it! He doubted me and my mindset which makes me really upset...How could he say that?!! He doesn't know how long I can suffer or anything else about me!! They never cared about it anyway🙄 Even if I tell them it's doesn't make any sense cause whenever I tell them something they tried to get back at me, putting the blame on me.Since then I never tell them anything about what happened to me... they didn't matter any way.
They totally disagree with me being a trainee.They said that it's annoying even when I dance especially my Dad! He acted like a good person infront of friends bruh!! Not true he's an annoying 1, always searching for something to complain about us +many things,I won't say anything about that any more.
Even my friends now,when I talked about my parents disagreement,one of them laugh and make fun of me about my body posture and how I walk say that they won't accept an idol who walked like me,even if it's as a joke she's nasty.
Now let's move back to the past,Why can't they just agree with me?? Making excuses that it's impossible from our state😐😐 Even Lisa went from Thailand to be a Trainee when she doesn't know how to speak Korean Except the word Annyeonghaseyo (안녕하세요) which means Hello.Thailand is nearby my state, only Myanmar is between Us!!! Why can Lisa can but I can't?!! It's just their lame excuses!!! I wanna be the first K-pop idol from my country!! But now 2 or maybe more than 2 already became a k-pop idol before me and I'm hurt.Why can't I chase my dream??? Whenever I talked about my dream My mom laughed at me gave discouragement that makes me sooo angry.
Then I gave up on it... But one day I say an audition video when I was 17,A girl uploaded her audition video on YouTube she was 17 too!! She gave me hope,then I started having to believe that I can do it I once auditioned under SM entertainment but I think they rejected me haha.. My dream company used to be JYP but because of Sulli... I want to be a Trainee under SM entertainment... I started talking about it to my parents again!! My mother laughed at me again!! I'm sooo furious that my tears came out from my eye... Whenever I looked at new k-pop girl group new mv's there's something really hurt inside my heart,I feel the pain!! I still can't go to Korea going against my parents my Money become the problem😩 How could I go there without any money.. Unlike other countries there's no Part time job for Teenagers, it's just soo hopeless.... How can someone go travel around with their parents support cause they're the only one who can landed me there.... Not like you can just borrow money from just a person you know... They probably say that they didn't have money.
My parents even say that I won't even get enough salary and told me to get a stable job!! But my dream is my dream!! Argh! But now I already turned 18... There won't be a chance for me.Even now when I talked about my aim in life and dreams,If I spoke out.. I will certainly cry cause it really hurts!! I just wanna be like other k-pop idols whom I really love!!I was thinking about it till now that if they've just accepted me when I try it I would've already debuted since that's when I was 14 years old.
My dream still remains inside my Heart but since I can't achieve it.. I'm aiming for high paid salary in job so that I can provide myself just as I wish.. What a sad thing right?
I just wanna leave a message for those who read this... Please don't be a coward like me and chase your dreams so that you won't regret later just like me especially if there's a place where you can earn money.
Wish you the best!!
