the pov of a little rock

🪨

I idly sit and stare at the world. The towering trees. The drifting clouds. The shabby buildings. The various bugs and birds that fly around. This is my life. Just a simple rock.

It may sound peaceful, but I'm tired of idly sitting. I'm tired of seeing the same things over and over. I would leave, but I want to savor whats last of all the things I love before it's all gone. The end is coming very soon, I can feel it. And I don't have legs anyways. 

In the summer, the sun beats down on me and rain onslaughts me with the sky's tears. I feel bad for the sky. It must be going through a lot of pain to produce so much tears so often. I wish I could produce tears, but I don't have eyes. I don't know if I would cry anyways. It wouldn't make sense for a rock to cry. We're supposed to be strong. 

It gets kind of lonely sitting here all day. There's tons of life around me, but I guess I'm not worth any attention. I would like some company, or at least to be noticed. Suddenly, one of those huge, fleshy beings with their booming voices and flashy attire arrive. Usually they just walk on by, no thoughts to their surroundings. But this one kicks me. It hurts. It hurts so much. I don't want to be noticed anymore. 

They leave, and I continue to live my solitary life. But the pain is like an unwanted guest. I can't get rid of the pain. I can't cry like the sky, or intimidate others like the sun. I can't kick someone around like humans. I'm stuck with the pain. 

At least I'm not idly sitting anymore. I'm rolling and rolling until I come to a stop at the root of a tree.

                                                                       🪨

The pain is a part of me now. It still hurts, but I've learned to accept it. That's a part of being strong. 

Winter arrives. A chill permeates through the air as snow engulfs everything, including me, leaving nothing in its path. I think I am strong, but I am like a weak little feather compared to Winter.

I know I am not a living being. I am not as good as that. But I feel sad when I know actual living beings' lives are being snuffed out by the snow, especially the tree I am sitting under. I think they all deserve better. But not me. 

Winter always makes the pain worse, but maybe that is the one thing I do deserve. That human picked me out of all other rocks to kick. Surely I did something to warrant that. I don't know what, but I wish I could make it right.

I just need to suck it up and deal with the pain and cold, like I always do. What kind of rock would I be if I didn't?

                                                                       🪨

Spring rolls around, and the dead living beings are replaced by new ones. I am saddened by that. I want everything to go back to the way they were. 

The pain hurts less now, but it's not completely gone. It probably never will be. Although, there is something uplifting about Spring. I feel less sadder and my same old, bland surroundings look more brighter and beautiful. 

Now that I think about it, maybe change isn't that bad. Change means new things, but maybe those new things are good things. I'm getting excited thinking about all the new, beautiful living beings I get to see. 

But I will never change. I don't get to blossom anew as a flower, or hatch as a pure and innocent little bird. That's okay. At least I will get to stay strong. That's all that matters. 

                                                                       🪨

It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

I can't enjoy the red and yellow leaves of Autumn or the crisp but not cold air not when i got hur tagain why isthis happening to me whatdidi dosomeone else came along and kicked me and it HURTS and ithought it was over it hought i didnt have to dealwith anymore pain but no its just gonna keep happening and happeningill never be safeim not strong imso weak im ah orrible rock and im soweak ifi could cry rightnow id be producing a whole ocean if i had legs i would kickandkick and kick so they could feel my pain why did ithave to be me why why wwyhwyh I

M CRACKED THERE IS A HUGE CRACK AND IT HURTS AND I DONT WANT TODEALWITH THISPAIN IVE LOST WHATEVER PURITY ANDINNOCENCE ANDDIGNITY IS LEFT OF ME I KNEW I WAS ALWAYS ATERRIBLE WEAK ROCKAND THIS JUST PROVESIT THERESALWAYS GONNA BE SOMEONE TO KICK ME ANDHURT ME AND IM SO SCARED I DONT WANNAGET HURT IDONTWANNAI DOTNT WANNAIDONTWANNAIDONTWANNA

                                                                       🪨

It's kind of embarrasing when I look back upon that day. 

The pain is so much worse now, but it was kinda foolish for me to be so absurdly scared, my thoughts screaming like early morning birds. This is just something I have to accept. I will get hurt more than once, no big deal. But I'm still kind of scared of that, unfortunately. I would be shaking like a leaf right now if I could.

It's still Autumn. I decided I don't like Autumn. If Winter is like a lion, tearing and ripping its prey until it's nothing but a pile of bones and meat, then Autumn is like a monarch butterfly, seemingly innocent but poisoning its unknowing prey before they know what's going on pretty soon it's too late. I am the unknowing prey. I know what to expect during the Winter, since humans don't go out much during that time. But not Autumn. It was foolish for me to think I was safe. 

One day, an acorn drops down next to me. I would say hi, but I have no mouth. Maybe this acorn can take my place, so my cursed existence doesn't stain this beautiful world anymore. What a relief that would be. I'm tired of living but not really living. I'm tired of existing. If existence means pain then I don't want to exist. I'm tired of living in fear and praying to a God who doesn't love me that I won't get hurt again. I'm tired of being strong. I've already proven that I'm not strong.

                                                                       🪨

The world keeps passing by, but I am surprised that it hasn't ended by now. The seasons keep changing and the pain keeps fluctuating. The crack in my body is an ever present reminder of the pain. 

The acorn is in the ground now. I was sad for it, it was buried and smothered after all, but now I feel kind of happy for it. It has something beautiful: an opportunity. An opportunity to grow into something big and strong and powerful, even though it has to suffer first. 

Huh. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from it. 

---------------------------------------------------

i know i wrote the seasons in the wrong order lol

this is just a little thing for me so im sorry about the bad grammar and storytelling

dont forget to do your daily click for palestine and donate to any palestinian gofundmes/trustable charities if financially capable