Bridging the Gap

chapter 9 - slipping through my fingers

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while

Early in the morning, Lou was sitting down in the kitchen, phone in hand.

It's been a week since he had met Cole in the city, two since the first argument with his son.

The feeling that I′m losing her forever
And without really entering her world

He was phoning with his girlfriend - Sabrina.

"I'm sorry, sweety, I just... need to be alone today. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow", he offered, a weak smile on his lips.

She didn't understand.

She was clung to him, she always wanted to spend time with him, everyday, every second of the day.

And Lou kind of felt the same.

He loved her.

Or at least, he thought he did.

There were certainly feelings for her.

Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Not as deep as anything he had with Lily.

And Lou felt guilty about that. About the fact, that she could never fill the hole Lily left, even though, he admit, it looked like that was, what he was trying to do.

But he didn't.

She couldn't replace her. Sabrina is so different to her.

Which was good, but in another way.

And Lou wished he could make Cole see that.

Make him see, that he needed her. To fill a hole.

But not Lily's.

He needed her, because it was the closest he had ever gotten to THAT feeling again.

And it felt good.

It was easy being with Sabrina.

She was easy to satisfy, and Lou couldn't deny, that he thought that she was deeply in Love with him.

And he enjoyed being loved again, in that kind of way.

If only Cole would understand.

Or - if only he, Lou had tried to make him understand.

I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Cole was impulsive. He was so much like his father, it sometimes scared him.

But he was also a lot like his mother.

And his mother was emotional too.

And once she cared for someone, once she let someone in her heart, it was so easy to hurt her.

Many people had hurt her, over the years he had spent by her side, Lou had realized that.

Because once she had laid off her cold, stone hard facade for certain people, they realized that she was kind and caring.

And once she let anyone in, she cared too much for them to not get hurt.

And Cole was the same.

Of course, it just meant that he loved Lou unconditionally, if it was that easy for him to hurt him.

But that still didn't mean, that Lou wanted any of this.

And especially today, he missed his son.

And Sabrina didn't understand.