Finding Serenity

Heartbreak

The wind blew her hair gently. The sunset magnified in her eyes, the blue mixing with the orange, turning her eyes a glowing sienna. Her skin was delicate as it radiated the rays of the setting sun. He couldn't help but stare. She was all he desired, all his heart could beat for; his mind was consumed with her.

His eyes scanned her being, taking her in, memorizing her beauty to hold until he could come back to her. She was perfect. He didn't want to leave her, but he had to, he needed to. It pained him, knowing what he was about to do. He knew he was being selfish, but he was doing this for her. If he did this now, would he regret it? Would she hate him? Would she wait for him?

He saw the way she looked at him. He knew she felt something; he only hoped it was the same as him. He wanted to hear her say it, that she felt the same, but if she did, he wouldn't be able to leave. If he didn't leave, they would take her instead. He couldn't risk her being ripped from him. He had to be the one to go. His mind was made up. It would hurt like hell for both of them, but this was the way it had to be. It was all for her, for them, for their future. He only hoped there would be one, with her at his side.

His eyes glistened in the setting sun, causing them to darken to a rich sea green. His tanned skin glowed underneath the rays of dusk. His blonde hair rustled in the wind. He was breathtaking, like out of a fairytale. He was all she desired. He consumed her mind effortlessly. She wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.

As she looked into his gaze, she could see something was weighing on him. She started to worry. He was thinking deeply about something. She could tell he was stressing over something. This moment felt so warm, but it also felt cold, like something was lurking around the corner. She wanted to tell him, hoping he'd feel the same. The way he looked at her—she hoped it wasn't just her imagination. He was the color in her world, the reason she could keep fighting. He brought music back into her life, connecting her with her mother once again. Music was more than her mother now. It was him. He was her muse, her melody, her symphony. Without him, life would be colorless and silent. If she told him the song of her heart, would he listen? Would he accept it? Accept her? She wanted to play it for him forever.

"Ree..." his soft voice split the air.

"Yes?" she answered just as delicately.

"I... I wanted to spend today with you because I'm leaving. I'll be gone for a while," he said, looking away, out towards the water.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He was silent for a moment, trying to move his words delicately. "I have to go somewhere. There's something I need to do, and it's going to take a long time. I'll be gone for three years, but I promise to come back, right after graduation."

"Where are you going?" she started to tear up.

"I can't... I can't tell you, but I promise I'll do everything I can to come back," he said firmly, turning back to her to see a tear sliding down her cheek.

"You promise? Promise you'll come back?" she whispered as more tears began to fall.

"Yes, Ree. I promise. But before I go, there's something I need to tell you," he said as he reached her cheek to wipe a tear away with his thumb. He continued to cup her face as their gaze locked. They started to lose themselves in each other's eyes.

"Serena... I... I love you," he whispered as he leaned in, leaving a chaste kiss on her stunned lips.

Her mind began to race as she tried to respond, to let him know she did as well. The words just wouldn't come out. She was speechless.

"I-I..." she tried to speak, but he covered her lips with one of his fingers.

"No, please," he said as his own tears started to fall. "I... I don't want you to say anything. It'd make it hard for me to leave, and if I don't... If I don't go, he will just... just... I have to do this. There's no other option. It's all to protect you. So please, wait till I come back." He quickly stood up and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Come on, let's get you home before your grandma comes for my head," he chuckled as he reached his hand down to help Rena up, but she didn't take it.

"I... I want to stay here for a while. Just... Just go..." she said as tears began to fall.

"Ree..."

"Just go, Clark. Please," she pleaded, turning her face to the lake.

He stood there at a loss for words, his heart heavy.

Was he wrong? Did he ruin everything? She was crying again, and this time it was his fault.

He tried to reach out to her, but then his phone beeped. He knew what that meant. He was out of time.

Maybe if he just told her why he was leaving, she'd understand. No, she wouldn't. She'd convince him to stay, putting herself in danger.

He pulled his hand back and turned to go to the house. Her father was waiting there for him, for his "child."

Clark took a few steps away from her before he turned his head back at her. "Three years. I promise. I'll be back." And then he walked away, into the hands of the enemy.

Rena sat there, and the thoughts ran through her mind, her body trembling with emotions. He said he loved her. She dreamed of him saying those words to her. She longed to hear them for so long. She felt the same way. She loved him. So why did it hurt? Why didn't he let her say it back? He looked as though she had rejected him, but she didn't, she wouldn't. Where was he going? Why did he have to leave? Was he just saying those words out of pity because he would be gone? But he kissed her. The feeling was electric. She wished it had lasted longer. His lips were so soft, so warm, so right.

She didn't want to stay, but walking back with him would have been so... so... No, she made a mistake. She should have taken his hand, holding it in a way that he knew, that he would feel her love. A touch that would say, "I love you. I'll wait for you. Three years is nothing compared to forever, which is how long I want to spend with you."

She jumped up and ran. She ran as fast as she could, tears streaming even harder down her face. How could she have been so stupid? Sure, he was selfish in what he did, but she was just as selfish not taking his hand and letting him walk her back. Faster she ran, colliding with the side of the house. She stopped to catch her breath. He told her to wait, but she couldn't. She needed to tell him now. His face said it all as he walked away. He was heartbroken as instantly as she was. She turned the corner to run across the street but froze as she saw him getting into a car. She didn't recognize the car or the man driving it. She was too late. Her knees gave out, and she collapsed to the ground, releasing the river of emotions welling up inside her.

"I love you! I love you too, Clark!" she screamed as the car disappeared from sight.