The Odds in Our Favor (WLW)

SEVEN

♥ Lucille ♥

My phone rings out, proceeding to my dad's voicemail. Dammit.

I call again. And wait. But yet again, he doesn't pick up. I put my phone in my pant pocket. I'll wait a minute before trying to call again. Or I'll wait for him to call back. I'm leaning against the wall right beside the door. The hall is cool and dimly lit. But dimly lit in the way it's dizzying. The walls are yellow and the lighting warm. It hurts my brain.

I close my eyes. God, this is so embarrassing. Kiara was being so weird. Well, she was being nice, but that's the weird part. I honestly wish she had said something rude or snarky just so it would feel normal. Most of all, though, I wish she hadn't seen me like that. And I wish I didn't feel like this at all.

Plus, she's going to want an explanation eventually. I don't want to give her that though. Even the reason is stupid and embarrassing.

My phone rings, I pull it out and it's my dad finally getting back to me. I take a breath and then hold the phone to my ear.

"Cille? Is everything okay?" I can hear the worry in his voice over the phone.

I clear my throat. "Hey, Dad. Um, no I am not doing that great right now..."

"What happened? Do you need to come home? I can probably get there quickly since it's late enough. Are you safe?" This is precisely how I imagined he would react. It's how he always does.

"I'm just outside my dorm right now. I..." I trail off for a moment. "Just a shitty day. Had a panic attack earlier. Almost had another one now ha..." I explain.

"Did something happen?" He asks. I can hear the drum of his fingers tapping against the phone. He does that all the time too, never realizing how annoying it is to hear directly in your ear.

"Just glossophobia being a bitch." I admit. It's embarrassing that all of this is caused by a stupid, meaningless fear. "I have to do a presentation tomorrow for one of my classes... It's a group thing and I've already finished my part of the slides, but I guess I'm freaking out over the actual presenting part..." I laugh weakly. Dad, however, does not laugh. I know I'm overreacting, but that's what I like about being able to talk to my dad. He makes me feel like my problems are as bad as they seem, but he helps make it better.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. That sucks. I'm assuming you can't opt out of the presenting part?"

"Nope. I've just got to suck it up." I sigh.

My dad doesn't speak for a moment. "I'm guessing your professor won't be convinced otherwise by money..?" He says it like an assumption, but I know it's really a suggestion.

"No, Dad." I laugh softly. "Pretty sure I'd get kicked out if I tried."

"That's too bad... How about tomorrow morning you chug some coffee. That's how I'd go about it."

"I think that would make it worse..." I admit.

"Jeez. So much like your mother. An espresso won't solve all your problems, she says, and yet whenever I have a problem, it does indeed make everything better." He argues.

"I think that's just delusion."

"Even if that's true, I do not care. If delusion is the key to happiness, then delusional I will be." He says confidently, making me laugh again. I know he's just spouting all this for the sake of brightening my mood, but it's certainly working.

There's a silence that falls over us for a moment before he speaks again, "How about you call me before the presentation tomorrow, okay? I will make up a large list of encouraging things to say tonight, and tell you all of them tomorrow. And if you need to run out of the class part way through due to anxiety, then I will threaten the professor's life if he tries to give you a low grade."