Midnight's Book of Mayhem and probably no Magic

Incorrect Quotes: ABNTT (minus grassy)

Golfball: Let's write Blocky a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...

Basketball: Are you having another depressive episode?
Golfball: A depressive episode?
Golfball: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Golfball: Tennis Ball, why are you crying?
Tennis Ball: This book is so sad!!
Golfball, picking it up: But this is my diary-

TV: Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.
Basketball: What? "To my knowledge"? Do a lot of people not know if they're robots?
TV: Thank you for your confirmation.

8-Ball: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Blocky: The whole "childhood wonder" stage just blew right past you, didn't it?

8-Ball: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Tennis Ball: Strong.
Blocky: Weak.
Golfball: An idiot, is what you are.

Ro Flo: What's wrong with you?
Golfball: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Tennis Ball: Hey, Blocky?
Blocky, playing a video game with the squad: What?
Tennis Ball: Can I share something with you from earlier today?
Blocky: Wh- what is it, Tennis Ball?
Tennis Ball: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning.
Blocky: Mhm.
Tennis Ball: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend?
Blocky: Yeah?
Tennis Ball: Your response.
Blocky: *trying not to crack up*
Tennis Ball: At 9:30 in the morning.
Tennis Ball: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit"
Blocky: *laughing*
Tennis Ball: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization.
Blocky: You just made me dieeee...
Tennis Ball: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now."
Tennis Ball: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you.
Tennis Ball: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man"
Blocky: *wheezing with laughter*
Tennis Ball: I respond "Blocky, you're scaring me." An hour passes-
Tennis Ball: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg"
Tennis Ball: "im very tired"
Blocky: *struggling to breathe*
Tennis Ball: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Blocky, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-"
Tennis Ball: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later,
Tennis Ball: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook"
Tennis Ball: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later,
Blocky: *falling over with laughter*
Tennis Ball: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

Basketball: Okay, what does A stand for?
Golfball: Arson.
Basketball: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?
Golfball: Barson.
Blocky: *laughter*
Basketball: What stands for C?
Golfball: Commit arson.
Blocky: Oooo.
Basketball: D!
Golfball: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.
Blocky: *more laughter*

Blocky: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
Blocky: I need my socks.

Tennis Ball: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it's so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

Ro Flo: How would you guys deal with a toxic friend?
Tennis Ball: Tell them how you really feel.
TV: Slowly distance yourself from them.
Golfball: Engage in a 1v1 sword battle and if they lose they have to stop being toxic or pay the price.
Ro Flo, being handed a sword: ...well heck.

Golfball: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest*
8-Ball: We have heart?
Golfball: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

Tennis Ball: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?
Ro Flo: Microwave for 40 minutes.
TV: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?!
Ro Flo: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn't own any pots...
Blocky: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?!
Ro Flo: Microwave for 40 minutes.

Basketball, teaching Golfball to drive: Okay, you're driving and Tennis Ball and Ro Flo walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Golfball: Oh, definitely Ro Flo. I could never hurt Tennis Ball.
Basketball, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

*Something crashes*
Ro Flo: Shoot-
8-Ball: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!
Tennis Ball: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

Golfball: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

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Quotes are from incorrect quotes generator on perchance.com
I just thought this would be fun idk
-Midnight