Dear Damiano David,
My name is ash, and hum, I am a fifteen year old fucking teenage boy.
This is the first time I've written to you, maybe not the last. And I intend to give you this letter.
I would no longer hide behind my fear, bruh hum, before seeing it face to face. Maybe at that point I'll run away, but I want to try.
Today (tonight?) It's August 2 2024, around 5 a.m. and I decided to start living.
I made this decision thanks to the four of you, but especially thanks to you.
I want to live even if anxiety twists my stomach every moment. And if I wake up in the middle of the night to cry for a fucking nightmare i want to live anyway.
I want to become a guitarist. I want to live to death. no want to try to attract death as if to fill the emptiness in me anymore.
I'm going back to high school in a month. And I have to start living. I remain a lost boy, but I will live. I can't stand here and do nothing.
I will be a rockstar. Even if I have to die at 27 years old.
I've spent too much time doing shit over the last few years. Too late. I can only say to myself “damn dude".
I'm fifteen and I'm anxious about everything around me .
I'm fifteen and I'm afraid of being myself and becoming who I want.
I'm fifteen and I'm scared. But I want to keep bleeding my fingers on the strings. Skinned my knees from skating. Loved my girlfriend so much more than she can realize.
I'm fifteen. I'm young and for the first time I hope that Peter Pan will wait I've accomplished great things before to come pick me up and take me to neverland. I want all to be fair even if nothing ever will be anyway .
I want to shout and scream without being told again that I'm crazy but maybe it's madness that makes geniuses.
I want to run in the rain and let the damaged remnant of my soul be blown away by the wind.
I want to end up soaked and sick but don't care.
I want to fall, cried loved and get up again. As much as it takes.
I want to try. And even if I fall and bleed I will still try.
I will do it.
I will live.
Because you gave me the courage to live. Thanks. and I can never thank you enough because it is precious and fragile.
I can't explain how much I thank you for giving me the courage to do all this. Thanks. you will never realize the enormous impact you have on people. All arond the word.
Thanks over all. For All. With all the rest of my soul.
-ashlan
