don't try to find me - a sung hanbin ff

✿ 9;3 ✿

"What's your name?" Eunha asked, staring curiously into his eyes. "I'm Eunha." She extended a hand to shake, her smile warm and inviting. But Hanbin didn't even glance at her. Instead, he scoffed, fiddling with a ring on his finger then looking away.

Eunha's smile faltered, her hand still awkwardly hanging in the air for a moment before she let it drop. She gave a small, uneasy shrug and quietly slipped into her seat, trying not to let his cold response bother her. As she began to place her books onto their shared desk, she noticed Hanbin shifting his chair, inching it away from her.

The message was clear: he wanted nothing to do with her.

The teacher clapped her hands loudly, startling them both. Eunha's leg hit Hanbin's, and he jerked it away, glaring. Her cheeks burned as she shrugged her shoulders in a pathetic apology. Eunha leaned forward and paid attention to the lesson, while Hanbin slouched and looked as disinterested as a person could look. He caught Eunha staring at him a couple of times, and each time he met her with a stare that usually scared everyone else off.

But despite his best efforts, the only reaction he got from her was a playful eye roll or her sticking her tongue out at him. Eunha wasn't scared by him or perplexed. She treated him like a normal human being who was going through a hard day.

"Sung Hanbin." A voice snapped him out of his haze. He looked up to see his test paper dangling from his teacher's bony hands. He snatched it quickly, hoping that nobody saw the grade. It was another 30% with a note written in red ink. The red words seemed to scream at him, but he kept his stony expression. Something about how he had to try harder, blah, blah, blah. He crumpled up the paper and threw it into the recycling bin across the room, scoring perfectly. Eunha was watching him the whole time, and she couldn't help but catch the flicker of sadness that stayed in his eyes for less than a second.

The bell rang, and Hanbin rushed out of the class without looking back. Eunha took her time packing up and walking back home. Some students eyed her weirdly, but she didn't seem to mind.

A hand slapped her back.
"Hey! Sorry you had to sit next to the creep," Yoonchae, Eunha's cousin, said with a light laugh.
"What do you mean... creep?"
"You can't tell? He never smiles, and he's just so weird. Not the best person to welcome you to your new school, huh?"
Eunha frowned slightly. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy. It's true that Hanbin wasn't very welcoming or nice in general, but she could see that Hanbin was more than just the 'creep' title that people throw around like a basketball.
"Yoonchae, don't-"
"I've got to go. See you later!"
Eunha sighed. "Don't call him that..."

☆

Dear Diary,

My first day at my new school was fine. Just fine. Nothing special happened; I didn't make any new friends. But that's okay.

Something that I didn't like happened, though. Yoonchae said that Hanbin was a creep. And is it bad to say that I want to defend him? He doesn't scare me, but I can see why some people would choose not to sit next to him. Even if he doesn't smile at all, I think he's got something inside of him that's making him act this way.

I didn't mess up my locker combo, and I didn't embarrass myself. That is something I should be proud of.

My teacher was nice, but there's only one class! Can you believe that? There is no going back and forth between different classes and corridors. My old school had six different classes throughout the day, so my back got sore from having to run around and take countless flights of stairs. I can tell this year will be better than last year. Hopefully.

Love, Eunha

☆

Eunha laid in bed, but she didn't sleep. Eunha had a bad habit of overanalyzing everything that happened during the day to make sure she didn't say anything to embarrass herself or anyone else. She cringed when she replayed the memory of her leg knocking into Hanbin's. The glare he gave her was enough to make her want to disappear. She made a mental note not to sit too close to him next time to prevent another accident and to be prepared for the teacher's obnoxiously loud claps and whistles.

Just before she drifted off to dreamland, she mumbled something almost inaudible that stuck with her till the next sunrise.

"I promise to change you, Hanbin."

☆

"Kim Eunha and Sung Hanbin are the last pair for the project."

☆

"Do you want to come to the library with me? To figure out what we should do for the project?" He shrugged as if he didn't care but started to pack his books into his bag, a silent answer to Eunha's question. "Great!"
Eunha tried not to seem too eager as he followed her down the hallways. Getting Hanbin to come with her had felt like a huge accomplishment, like maybe they would become a little closer.

As soon as they reached an empty table next to a window that was flooding the room with light, Hanbin got out his laptop, sitting on the chair furthest away from her as possible. Eunha sighed.
"So, what's your dream job?" She asked. Hanbin stared at her for a little longer than necessary before shrugging, his response to everything. "Okay, then, is it okay if we do the presentation on my dream job?"
Hanbin nodded, arms crossed. She was stupid to think that he would open up. That they would get along.
"I want to be a choreographer." Eunha trailed off, trying not to look into his eyes. She heard a sigh and then sounds of a keyboard as he noted the information. "I love the feeling of dancing; it makes me feel like I'm flying and crashing down from a building at the same time. I started learning dance when I was seven, and I never stopped. I learnt how to do freestyle soon after, and my body made moves for the music without using my brain."
The incessant typing noise made her look up and see Hanbin typing, his fingers flying over the keys with his tongue sticking out between his teeth in concentration. She giggled internally, wanting to take a photo of this Hanbin.

Then he cleared his throat, and she realised she'd been staring for too long.
"Sorry! Um," she furrowed her left brow, a habit she does often when she's trying to mask her embarrassment. "My main lane of dance is in hip-hop, but I also like contemporary. Something about the combination of the styles is truly the best. Funny, I started out doing ballet, but I didn't enjoy it much. I felt too restricted in my motions, and I just wanted to do whatever I wanted. Just like in life," Hanbin nodded again, like she said something important. "I want to show others how to express their emotions and style through dance. I think that's the biggest goal of mine-to make everyone find their unique style and strength through dance."
Hanbin made an ok sign with his fingers and closed his laptop, signalling that they were done, a corner of his lip lifting the slightest bit.

For some reason, she wanted to prove Yoonchae wrong. He could smile, talk, and laugh like a normal person.
But what if he couldn't? What if he actually can't?