BATGIRL RETURNS & OTHER SUPERHERO TALES

JOKER & BATMAN: FOLIE A DEUX

"So here we are again, Batman. Or should I say . . . Bruce Wayne."

Batman was facing off against Joker for the umpteenth time. He stood there before his biggest archnemesis as stoic as ever. He didn't react as he revealed his true identity.

"Oh yes. I know who you really are, Bats. In fact, I've known for a long time. And you know what else? I bet that cop friend of yours Jim Gordon also knows your secret identity." He grinned. "He's not so dumb for a cop."

Joker let out one of his laughs.

"But you being Batman makes so much sense when you think about it. A young rich boy watches his parents get killed right before his very eyes. Then he uses his family's wealth to help him become this costumed vigilante to-what?-fight crime? Seek revenge for the death of his parents? Have you even ever found the person who murdered your parents? Or are we all guilty in your eyes?"

Bruce said nothing as he kept staring silently at him.

"Tell me something, Bruce, do you enjoy being Batman? Do you enjoy playing dress up and going out every night to find a villain to fight? Do you ever envision a time when you're not Batman? Or do you enjoy the adulation too much to stop? You could've become a cop instead, but you didn't, did you, rich boy?"

He let out another laugh.

"You see, Bruce, we're both the same, you and I. We both get off on all the adulation we receive. We both have become cultural icons of sorts. They make movies and TV shows about us. They put out comic books about us. Hell, they even sell toys with our likenesses. Of which I've never received a penny for. Oh well!" Another laugh and a shrug. "And the public never wants us to change, do they? They want us to keep fighting each other forever. I think if either one of us ever decides to quit doing what we're doing there'd be a riot. Or at least a bunch of nerd boys bitching online how their childhoods have just been ruined!" Another laugh. "Hell, they even turned my Harley into this hypersexualized cartoon fantasy. Which I have to hear about all the friggin time!" Another laugh. "But, hey, look at who I'm talking to! Look what they did to that woman you're always hanging around with who wears the skintight catsuit and carries the whip. What is her name again? Selena Kyle? And what do the nerd boys call her? Catwoman? Oh, that's rich!" Another laugh.

"What's your point, Joker?" Bruce finally spoke.

Suddenly the Joker turned serious.

"My point is, Bruce, maybe I'm tired of always being the villain for a bunch of nerd boys to satisfy their lonely fantasies. What is it they call me in the press? The clown prince of crime? Maybe I'm tired of always being the clown. Maybe I'm tired of always hurting people. Worse, of always being expected to hurt people. And being cheered on for it. Hell, I'm a serial killer, and people wear me on their T-shirts! And they call me sick! And, as you would no doubt agree, I know a thing or two about being sick!" Another laugh.

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe I don't want to do this anymore. Perhaps I don't want to spend the rest of my life committing crime. Killing people. Fighting you. You don't even know my real name, do you? Some detective you are!" Another laugh.

"So what do you want, Joker?"

"It's Fleck."

"What?"

"Arthur Fleck. That's my name."

"Arthur Fleck?" Arthur bowed and grinned broadly. "What do you want . . . Arthur?"

"How about I see you without your mask on, Bruce?" When Bruce didn't comply, Arthur walked up to him and leaned his head forward until their faces were nearly touching. "I'll remove my mask if you remove yours."

Bruce hesitated for a moment before he reached up and slowly pulled back his cowl to expose his face.

Arthur grinned his sick grin at him. "Hello, Brucey!" He then reached up and started wiping away his clown makeup. "A promise is a promise." He finished wiping away his makeup that covered the scars on his face of which he had carved into his own face. "There. All done!"

"So what now, Arthur?"

"How long have we been doing this dance, Bruce? How many years? I don't even remember the first time we met, do you? It's been so long." He sighed. "Too long." Arthur gave Bruce the most serious look he had ever seen on the criminal clown's face. "And I'm tired of doing this dance with you. It's not funny to me anymore."

"Are you being serious with me now, Arthur? Or is this just another one of your sick jokes?"

"A joke?" He laughed. "You think this is all a joke?" His laughter died down as tears began to roll down his scarred, makeup-ridden cheeks. "Actually, Bruce, the joke's on me this time." He pulled out a knife. "AND HERE'S THE PUNCHLINE!!!!"

He raised the knife and plunged it deep within his stomach.

"NO!!!!" Bruce shouted.

Arthur dropped to his knees as he pulled out the knife. He fell over as Bruce knelt down next to a dying Joker. He looked up at his longtime foe and smiled at him for the last time.

"Do you think . . . they'll find this . . . entertaining?"

Arthur Fleck a.k.a. The Joker laughed for one final time. He reached up with one hand and caressed Bruce's face, smearing blood across the side of his face, before he closed his eyes and laughed his last laugh. Bruce Wayne a.k.a. The Batman stared at Arthur's unmoving body, still wondering if this was still one of Joker's pranks and only pretended to kill himself. But then he checked Arthur's pulse and, when he found none, he realized that his deadliest foe was in fact dead. He stood, not feeling any type of emotion over the death of this man who had caused so much death and destruction in the city of Gotham for so long. Not relief. Not joy. Nothing. He wondered if maybe Arthur was right about them being one in the same. But then he dismissed the thought as fast as it had entered his mind as he slowly slipped the cowl back over his head. He picked up Arthur's body and walked out where James Gordon and other Gotham police were waiting for him. They all watched in shock as the Caped Crusader carefully laid his body down on the ground.

"What happened?" asked Gordon.

"He killed himself," Batman responded.

"That's ironic."

"Why's that?"

"We found the body of Joker's girlfriend and accomplice Harleen Quinzel at Joker's hideout before we got your message to come here. She died from a gunshot wound to the head. It looked like it was self-inflicted."

Maybe not so ironic, Bruce thought to himself as he looked back down at Arthur's lifeless body.

"So the Joker is finally dead, huh?" policeman Harvey Bullock interjected with a noticeable sneer.

"Fleck."

"What?" Harvey said, giving Batman a funny look.

"His name is Arthur Fleck."

Batman said nothing else as he walked past the police commissioner and the others towards the Batmobile.

"Where are you going?" Gordon asked him.

Suddenly Bruce stopped walking and turned to face the aging policeman.

"Nowhere," he said simply.

Bruce Wayne a.k.a. The Dark Knight got into his Batmobile and drove away while his "friend" Jim Gordon and the other cops watched . . .