Hey I'm going to tell you about how and why I'm planning to Kill myself
On August 16th why I wish I could do it after my little sisters birthday but I can't school starts for me on August 19th I'm In tears while writing this I'm in the car my mom made me leave the house my birthday is close July 18 and my sister July 16 well I'm going to start from the beginning when I was 8 I used to watch someone get bullied and I was there laughing I don't know why but one day she disappeared she never came back and I heard in the news someone died and it was her if I was a good girl I could of saved her but I decided to watch and laugh.
well I was 8 so I lived my life caring those memories this is not the only reason
when I was in 5th grade I started too be in depression I was more mature and I thought of my past and I remembered that.
Then I started to cut myself in 6th grade , also in 6th grade I started to be a bully who knows why because I hatted myself during that time I was getting into gymnastics I started being a Fanpage for Mia Diaz I met online friends I never told them how I felt of course not the time started flying by we all started getting close we'll one day my mom left me alone In the house we'll of course I did not want to go so I was alone I said it was a good time ending it and you know what I got pills I got a lot of them I woke up In the hospital it was really depressing my mom was sad but I did not understand why didn't I die I should of had died
I went to 7th grade and the first day I got bullied don't mention my friends they left me because I was getting bullied but of course I got in fights Dahh
I never can't never tell the diazlers that i feel this way I told them that I get Bullied they all said tell your mom tell the principal but of course not I deserve it I told a lie to them that I told my parents and they fixed everything but that was all a lie I deserve it I bullied and even watched people get bullied and laugh I'm ugly fat worthless person it's hard spending my last days and they don't even know I'm leaving this World I cry really hard in the shower since they can't hear me I always stay in my room too watch anime and be in the computer I don't Even go to dance I quit it gymnastics to oh we'll sometimes I'm writing In my journal everything that happens and feel every day and I have a blade hidden there to its under my bed in between two beds in the middle there and I also writing a letter to my family and to "my fake friends". To be honest I want to die for everyone could feel the pain of what I've been through but I know that's kinda of selfish.
Do you understand know when you are reading this I'm probably dead now *
