- Interlude .

#5 - Death in my eyes

TW : Character death mention , suicide mentioned , alternative way of SH

"Go ahead, nobody will notice if one grand of sand would disappear can they?"

Dec 10 , 2012 . (Night time, unknown specific time)

– “I personally disagree that you'll have a perfect future for yourself, tell me, look at a mirror, you'll see nothing but a foul beast who likes to hurt themself and the others to feel something. We know who you are truly, and we despise you for that.”

It's been awhile since Balloon was in this place, he was walking around. The only reason why he was walking around is because he has no place to stay, until he goes back to the empty park and sat beside a tree. He sighed heavily, he looked at his notepad on his hand and his ballpen.

He wrote down “Things have been hard for me, will it ever get easier?” Unfortunately Balloon has no trust that it will get easier, he's aware, and he doesn't want to be aware. But at the same time, he needs to be, he needs to make things right.

He curled up into a ball, his thoughts this past days has been driving him crazy. One says he needs to get worsen, one says he needs to get better.

He remembered his past self had promised, he will be the best. He will be the greatest.

He failed, he's aware he failed. So bad.

“Oh poor past self, I have betrayed your wish.
Betraying yourself hurts a ton.
I promise I'll be clean this time, and now wounds would be opened once again.”
Is what he wrote down at his notepad, he's been trying to write out his feelings. Nobodies here to help him, nobodies here to save him.

But he can't blame them, he wasn't even there for them also.

Balloon saw a rock next to him and threw it hard. “Stupid feelings, stupid thoughts. Why can't they just leave me alone?” He asked himself, standing up and walking close to the rock he kicked earlier.

“No no, I don't need anyone's help. The only thing I need someone is when I need to feel something, to earn something.” Balloon said to himself, he picked up the rock and examined it. “What a small rock, easy to get picked. Easy to get hurt. Why're you even here in the first place if you can't defend yourself?” He said to the inanimate rock, in his eyes, that rock, is someone.

“The way to win something. Is to break something.” Balloon said, he then dropped the rock and smashed it into pieces with his feet.
“....yet, I didn't win. Such a shame.” He adds, adding a bit sassy tone on it. He made a limp wrist gesture, he rolled his eyes.

“Personally, you can't win something if your only pieces and not full.” Balloon said to himself, he then took his hand off the smashed rock. “...but…maybe..” he began to ask himself, if that rock was someone. Does that mean he’d hurt someone again? Just for what?

“UGH!” Balloon shouted in frustration, he looked away.

“I just made an emberassing moment here, no one's around though.” Balloon says, he thinks showing emotions are embarrassing. He acted like he was fine to ignore that feeling.

He walked away from the smashed rock, he left it in pieces, he didn't helped.

a part of him wished he didn't smashed it.

…Sounds familiar..

.

Trophy on the other side, he was just standing infront of a soda vending machine. He looked at the sparkling watermelon soda, he tapped on the glass. He wanted to get the sparkling watermelon soda, but, he remembered he left his money on the waiting bench at a bus stop, I wonder how's his money. He gazed at the sparkling watermelon soda so intensely.