Hollow Veins

Chapter Thirty Four; More Arguments

Alice woke up with a slight jolt. Blurry memories floated around her brain. She blinked to clear her vision. Jasper was sharpening a knife. He glanced up, "I was about to wake everyone." Alice didn't speak, remembering the kid in her dream. Her and Jasper had been very young when they were forced on their own. He still looked the same. Except the strain in his face. It hadn't been there all those years ago. The same bright light still shone in his eyes. Jasper looked at her the way he always had but there was sadness added there. Their lives were tainted with the past. "It feels like forever since you came stayed with us," Alice's voice was barely audible but Jasper heard her. He smiled slightly, "It really does." His expression was distant as looked away, "And even since we started this trip." Alice's thoughts suddenly rested on what she'd said to him the day they'd set out. Did he really not deserve forgiveness. He had helped her countless times.

Aaron had said that was because Jasper needed test subjects to get into the City. But even Aaron had had his doubts, right? That had been a guess. Could she really judge Jasper on an assumption. Alice opened her mouth, trying to put the words together. She glanced at Aaron. Definitely asleep. "Jasper, I... uh..." He raised his eyebrows, "Yeah?" She wanted to say sorry, to explain, maybe yell. She couldn't get it out, "Nevermind." Alice couldn't say it. But she felt it. She wouldn't be angry at him for something she wasn't certain of. Alice had almost forgiven him for leaving. And she thought she could if she was only certain he hadn't saved her so many times for his own gain. Jasper watched her and it was like he read her. "There isn't anything for you to be sorry for." Alice looked down, "There is. Everything you've done since this all started has been to help us." Jasper struck his knife against the grooved metal stick. "So? That doesn't mean you have to be sorry." "I just..." Alice fidgeted and glanced at the others. Jasper gave his knife a final swipe then set it down. He started off into the trees, turned, and looked at her. He motioned for her to follow him. Alice stood, and stepped over Ren and Prince. She caught up to Jasper. Jasper leaned against a tree. "Thought you'd want some privacy." She nodded, "It's just... I've been..." Alice inhaled, "I've been mistreating you." He blinked. Alice continued, "You've done so much and I... I kept stewing in my own misery." Jasper lifted his hand, faltered and crossed his arms instead. "I have tried to make it up to you, Alice, and everyone who was effected by it. I'm unforgivable, and you're still trying. You had all the right to be angry." Alice folded her own arms as she studied him. Jasper looked like he wanted to reach out but was holding himself back. As much as Alice wanted to forgive him, she didn't want him to come any closer. Though she tried to forget what he'd done, he seemed to be almost be tainted. Stained. Alice closed her eyes. Jasper spoke quietly, "You don't have to forgive me, and you don't have to always trust me. I want your trust. I really do, Alice, but I won't try and force you to trust me." She looked down and mumbled, "Ok..." He gave a small smile and led the way back to the campsite.

Aaron was already awake. He narrowed his eyes at both of them. "You got me worried, Alice. So what are we doing?" Alice felt a little guilty, "We were just talking." Aaron a little coldly at them, "I'm sure." Alice felt a little annoyed. Where was the Aaron from yesterday? He'd seemed to come around to her side of trusting Jasper slightly. That was what had pushed her to try and apologize to Jasper in the first place. Jasper folded his arms, "Yeah, you're sure. Nothing more to discuss." Aaron stepped a little closer, "I know. You were just talking." They both glared at each other. A shout and some jumbled words sounded behind them, breaking the tension, "Pas d'arrêt. Je ne-" Prince sat up, groaning. He was barely awake. "Euh, que se passe-t-il? Quel-" He blinked at them, then he realized what he was doing, switched to English, "Uh, what civil war am I witnessing?" Aaron stepped away. "Everything's fine." He gave Alice a disgusted glare. Alice felt like hitting him. It wasn't his choice who she trusted. And yet she felt like maybe this was her fault.