The Happy Couple

Losing My Marbles

LOICK

I've been to the 'getting ready cottage' a total of four times now. But each time I've been, I've been greeted with the same thing: silence.

Each time, I've stayed that little bit longer too but the result is always the same. Absolute nothingness. Like no one is home. Even though I know there is.

And the one person in there is the one person whose day has been ruined beyond belief. Today was supposed to be her day. Lily's day. The sun has shone since it arrived in the clear blue sky but all today's emotion has been filled with is doom and gloom.

I'm... horrified. Disgusted even, in Aidan pulling this type of shitty stunt on her. Lily deserves everything. And more. And she's been given absolutely fuck all because of him.

From what I can gather, there was no warning. No preempting or anything that would raise Lily's suspicions or anyone else's for that matter. I know Lily. If she felt something. Anything. A flicker or a beat that wasn't right, she would've known and would've told me. Just as I would've told her.

But there wasn't. There was nothing. No hint, suggestion or feeling that anything like not turning up at your own wedding and standing up your bride-to-be would happen. Today is just out of the blue, and for all the wrong reasons.

As I sit here, alone with my thoughts at one of the back tables in the same room we were delivered the guy wrenching news, I can't imagine how Lily is feeling. I can only imagine the heartache and devastation she must be going through, right now. It breaks my heart that I can't be there for her on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

In my thoughts, I've been praying all day that she knows she can count on me, for whatever she needs. Whether that's just to chew my ear off ranting, cry on my shoulder or just be, I'm here. I just wish I could take away the pain of today and make everything right for her. Whatever right even means now.

This is the main reason I want to get to her and speak to her. But she's not ready. She hasn't been since finding out, however, the fuck that happened.

I've wondered over the course of today whether it was a text, a phone call or a message through someone else. Regardless of Aidan's method, it wouldn't have been good enough. And I can only imagine how piss-poor his reasoning will be. He's never been good at reasoning...

I won't give up though. It's my mission to speak to her at least once before I leave. Whether that's through a door or face to face, I have to speak with her.

***

Like everyone else, I've had to force myself into looking like today's news is a complete thing of the past and everything is A-OK. Even though it's far fucking from it. I've had to smile when there's nothing to smile about. Laugh like I don't have a care in the world. Eat and drink like we're toasting to the newlyweds.

Everyone here - myself included - has banded together to make the best out of a horrendous situation. What else can you do in these types of situations? Because they don't come around often.

As hard as it's been, my main focus - aside from trying to speak to Lily - has been putting on a brave face for Adele and Tommy. Tommy was beaming from ear to ear with pride for his little girl and her big day mere hours ago. Now, he's watching people mill about between themselves at what should be his daughter's wedding reception. But there's been no walking down the aisle, arm in arm with his daughter. No speech from him at the wedding breakfast and no father-daughter dance. He's missed out on all those things...