Sorry I took so long to post this.
Rain pounds the car as I pull into the driveway.
My eyes drift to the rear view mirror at my sleeping children. My daughter, she's sick months, is clutching her baby blanket, and my son, who is a year and three months, is holding onto his bear. I smile at the sight of them.
My husband is in England, opening up amusement parks all over the country. I haven't seen him in two months, but we Skype every night.
I have groceries.
I shut the car off and leave my purse in the car. I get out and unbuckle my sleeping daughter, Harper, and pick her up. I unbuckle my son, Nicholas, Nick, really, and jog them into the house. Both of them shift their heads on my shoulder. I carry them to the living room and put them in their playpens. Both of them just go to sleep. I go outside and get my purse and the groceries, lock the car, and go inside. I put the groceries away and bring my laptop and phone downstairs to the hideout. I pick up the babies and go downstairs. I shut the cabinet after bringing them down there. I power up my laptop. Skype opens by itself.
The kids sleep on the couch.
The moment my computer says I'm online, I get a Skype call from Ty.
I answer it.
"Hey stranger." I smile when his face appears on the screen.
"Hi." he smiles. "In the library I see. Where are the kids?"
"Right here." I shift the camera to face our babies.
He sighs.
Confused, I put the camera back to me. He's laying in bed. I can tell by looking at him that's he's laying, probably in his boxer briefs. His arms are behind his head and I guarantee his ankles are crossed.
"Are you okay?" I ask, and I already know the answer is no.
He sighs slowly.
"I want to come home. I miss you guys."
I smile softly.
"I know baby."
"And I keep sitting here listening to sad songs."
"Why? That's going to make you feel worse."
"I don't think I can feel worse, and I have another five months here. Our son will be four months from being two and our daughter will be one month from being one." he sighs. "I don't want to miss it. I'm missing major milestones. Our children won't even know who I am."
"Yes they will. I'll make sure of it."
"They'll know what you tell them. I can't play with them and toss them in the air and I can't kiss your cheek or rest my hand on your knee when I drive. I can't tickle you or hug you or sneak up behind you and wrap my arms around you." he takes a deep breath. "And I have this giant bed to myself. I don't like having my bed to myself. I like falling asleep with you in my arms and wake up with your body all over mine. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I wake up in pain with your heel n my dick and it hurts and I push you away but you just move closer to me. I just want to come home and play with my kids and be with my wife, but I can't Megan, I can't, and it sucks! It hurts, it hurts a lot."
I'm quiet for a long time, looking at my hands.
"Ty, there are ways to make them know who you are. You can talk to them on Skype and I can show them what you would do when you play with them-"
"Megan, that's the point. I don't want you to have to show them. I want to do it. What's next? Another man comes and does what I would do if I was there?"
"Tyler Wesley, you know damn well I would never cheat on you."
"I know baby, I know, but I just miss you guys." he looks down at his hands. "Can I just come home?"
"No." I say. "This is your dream, Ty-"
"No, my dream is opened. Now I just want to be home with my family."
"Ty, you said you really wanted to open a park in England. Just embrace it. It's okay. The kids will remember you."
<><>
I'm rushing around the house, cleaning, stressed because the clutter is driving me crazy. Nick is walking all around and pausing to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and grabbing things he's not supposed to be touch, and Harper is latched onto my nipple, eating away. My left arm holds her in place and with my right arm, I clean.
Megan unlatches and starts to whine, so I set her down and she crawls over to join her brother. I cover my breast and start wiping down windows. I look over my shoulders at the kids because they're too quiet and see Nick standing on a shelf on the Tv stand. He picks up a lit candle.
"Oh, no!" I gasp. I drop the rag and the rush for him. I blow the candle out and set it out of his reach.
Sighing, I give up my cleaning and sit down with some toys.
Harper is laying on the floor.
I pick her up and lay her in her crib so she can sleep, and then I pick up Nick and lay him so he can sleep. He starts crying but I shush him gently. After a bit he stops fussing and gives up.
He drifts off to sleep and I put on Switched at Birth on Netflix.
I look down at my son as I stand up to take him to his room upstairs.
When I bend down to put him I bed, I pause.
He looks so much like Ty right now. He's making the peaceful face Ty makes. His hair is all over his forehead. I brush it out of the way.
Goodness, I miss my husband.
I turn up the baby monitor and go downstairs.
I shut the TV off and finish cleaning, and then my phone starts ringing.
I pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
It's Ty and he sounds upset.
"What's wrong?"
He sighs.
"I miss you." he mutters.
I sigh slowly. "I miss you too."
"I've gone through all of your social media accounts so many times. I've looked at all my photos of you and the kids, just trying to find a way to feel closer to you guys, but I can't, Megan, it's not working."
I sigh slowly. "I was putting Nick in his crib for his nap and when I bend down to lay him down I looked at him, and he looks so much like you. It upset me because I miss you."
"Honestly, having you in my arms would be the best feeling right now."
I sigh quietly.
"We're going to be okay."
"I know." he whispers. "But I still miss you guys."
"We miss you too." I whisper.
