The death of a “hero" isn't always dramatic. You're probably picturing a big fight scene between a hero and a villain, but no. You never expect them to die in such normal ways. You don't think of car crashes, work accidents, or fires, you think of drama, gore, and then they get revived almost instantly by true love's kiss, but that is for the movies.
Both my parents are in caskets, and the whole country is mourning the loss of their so-called perfect stars. They never saw the fights and the abuse of alcohol; they saw the perfect couple. That was all fake and for the money. The money was real. The love wasn’t.
I am sitting in a far too short skin tight black dress that shows too much but it's what mommy picked out before the crash so I'll wear it so I won't burn in hell with them. There are make-up artists surrounding me and fake friends asking if I'm okay, but they are too focused on the fact they are going to be on TV.
I hate how fake it is from the make-up to the television if I would destroy all these people if it wasn’t for the stupid ceremony and the fact I should be mourning but I'm not I’m glad. I didn’t have the pressure to be perfect anymore. I felt free. It made me seem like some sicko freak. I should be inconsolable. I should be sobbing, not hiding a smile that, for once, actually isn’t fake.
Why I’m this way is a long story but if I had to explain it in one word I’d say “Trauma” but that doesn’t even start to cover the eating disorders, the voices, the abuse, the toxic living environment, any of it. My deep red hair was in perfect waves, and my makeup was done when I was snapped out of my thoughts by one of the news producers when she spoke “Hey Ms. Evans, do you mind crying?” I looked at her confused. “You know for the camera?” I nodded and then reread the list of stuff my mom used to call me because I believed them and sobbed each time I thought about them, but this time, nothing, not a tear in sight. I cursed under my breath. I couldn’t deal with this. “5 minutes till we’re live!” Some underpaid assistant called out. This was becoming worse by the second.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please let me know what you think.<3
