𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: the very thing that he wishes to protect is the same thing that causes him torment.
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: angst, reverse comfort, love confession, lots of self loathing from laurance, violence, i love elaborating on how terrifying shadow knights are
𝐂𝐖: mentions of violence and gore, he is in fact going crazy, he almost kills you whoops
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the constant traveling your group has had to endure has been difficult on everyone, but lately it seems as if laurance has been even more on edge, barely hanging on to his temper by a thin thread. he's usually reliable for being calm and collected when tensions are high, yet somehow it seemed like any little thing or comment sent your way was some sort of veiled threat. it wasn't a mystery why he was acting this way, with the calling tormenting his thoughts and chipping away at his sanity.
you'd hoped to coax him into talking about some things that had been on his mind, and possibly calm the build-up of stress that he seemed to constantly carry on his shoulders. however, the walk through the woods went from anything from tranquil, the thread holding him together snapping when bandits had decided to ambush the two of you. you wanted to stop him, to calm him down. but when the meadow was covered in blood and that same shade of hellish red turned to you in the form of fury-filled eyes, you found yourself frozen in terror.
weapon still in hand, laurance stalks towards you with his sword raised, only seeming to gain back a piece of awareness when a frightened sob leaves your lips. he stumbles back, horror in his eyes as he looks down at you, nothing but pure self-loathing on his face when he sees the pure fear in your eyes.
your breath shudders and you quickly gulp back the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. you knew that if you didn't speak now he'd distance himself from you, closing himself away for the sake of your safety. "...laurance?"
he falters at his name being said, snapping out of his own thoughts as he stares down at you. his lips curl in an unmistakable expression of mental anguish.. "...you're...you're scared of me. you're scared of me."
the tone of his voice was something you'd never seen him have before. self-hatred, horror, and the sheer amount of pain in his tone was nearly overwhelming. you find yourself in one of the few moments where you've ever seen laurance nearly speechless.
shakily you stand up to your feet, clearly trying to deny his claims. your silent attempt was not very convincing, though, with the trembling of your body and your eyes blown wide. blood from the practical slaughter of the men had splattered onto you, smearing on your skin and soaking into your clothes.
"no..." you breathe, shaking your head as you gulp, taking a shaky step closer to him. "i'm not. i'm not."
"yes. you are. you should be. i'm a monster, and you should not be getting closer." he practically snarls out the words, though the look in his eyes was desperate.
