𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚/𝐘𝐨𝐮)

[ Three ]

Trigger warning: ED

The sound of voices roused me up from my nap. I raised my head to lean against the headboard, but quickly lowered it again, feeling my temple. My head was pounding. I grumbled and rubbed my eyes, waiting for the blurriness to fade.

Squinting my eyes, I observed Victoria in the corner, pacing back and forth while talking on the phone.

She caught my eye as she told whoever was on the other end of the phone that she'd chat to them later.

I slowly peeled the blankets off of my body and sat up.

"Good Afternoon how do you feel?" She walks towards me, a gentle smile on her face.

"Afternoon? How long was I out?" My voice was harsh, and I kept swallowing, expecting that the dryness in my throat would go away, but it never did.

"After you fell asleep in my arms I brought you upstairs to your room."

I groaned. "My head is killing me."

"Here," She says, handing me painkillers and a bottled water from the nightstand.

"I figured you'd have a killer headache so I went to your medicine cabinet."

"Thank you so much." I placed two pills on my tongue and swallowed them with cold water.

"No problem babe." She walks to my grey beanbag in the corner of the room, sits down, and then suddenly stands up.

"Are you hungry? I can cook—or do you want me to order something?" She says, pulling out her phone.

"I'm not hungry." I murmur, pulling on the soft fabric of my throw blanket.

"Ariana you have to eat something. I'll cook for you— just stay here and rest more. I will call you when I am finished." She says this without giving me a chance to respond, turning on her heel and striding out of my room.

I lay back down, pulling the blanket over my body. The cold pillow calming me. I closed my eyes, feeling my consciousness ebbing away; as clear and concise as it was mere moments ago, it was coming to an end.

My eyes grow heavy, flickering into darkness. I gave up on trying to fight it. I decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion.

დ დ დ დ

I was pulled from my thoughts when I was brought a plate fettuccine. I took it and placed it next to the bowl of mixed fruits. Five blueberries and three slices of orange kept it from looking utterly empty.

I feel nauseated as I look down at the plate of fettuccine. I don't want to eat it. I don't want to eat any of it. Even breathing the scented air above feels like it's full of empty calories. I take a long breath in through my nose, pretending not to notice Victoria's worried expressions.

I sighed internally, looking around the table, my gaze resting on the silent television that was playing a cartoon show I was unfamiliar with.

I let my eyes glide over the television before turning my attention back to the plate filled with fettuccine. I moved it around, spearing and then dropping them.

I moved the plate of fruits in front of me. Nibbling on a blueberry. I tried so hard, wanting to pick up my fork and eat the fettuccine, but I just couldn't. Looking at the food made me sick. The gnawing in my stomach was growing and getting louder by the minute, but I just couldn't.

"Ariana, please take a bite of the fettuccine; maybe it'll help your headache go away faster." Victoria says from across me.

I sit upright on the stool, arms jammed between thighs and torso. Placing my right hand in the left sleeve of my black sweatshirt. I couldn't help but wonder if validation wasn't given to me, would I still feel so empty?