Music Heals All Wounds

Chapter 22

Essence

One Week Later

This is my fifth time writing in this journal. I've been meaning to write more often. I promised Tracy that I would, but I've been so busy lately that I haven't gotten the chance to do so. The virtual sessions that the two of us have continued to maintain has helped me to sleep better at night.

She helped me realize how the guilt that I held from the Jeremiah incident was the trigger for the nightmares that I was having. The guilt that stemmed from me feeling terrible for taking his life, even though it was all an accident.

However, Tracy taught me how to turn my guilt into gratitude and it changed my perspective on the whole ordeal. So instead of feeling bad about everything that happened, I just thank God that I'm still here.

I thank God for bringing me out of that situation and blessing me with another opportunity to do life the right way. And I thank God for allowing me to have the strength and the courage to fight back that night, otherwise I may not be here today.

Sometimes I feel like I take life for granted and I don't wanna do that anymore. So as I'm riding in this car, on the way to my very own listening party, I just wanted to take the time to write down how I'm feeling at this exact moment. Proud, happy, excited, deserving, and grateful.

"We're almost there." Drew said to me from the driver's seat. My heart began to race a bit faster as those words left her mouth. I read over my journal entry one more time before closing it and putting it away. "Are you nervous?"

"I'm more excited than anything." I told her honestly. "It's my first time hearing all six songs play all at once, so it's gonna be great."

Once my EP was finalized and given the greenlight to be released, Drew thought it would be a good idea to have an intimate get together to celebrate my accomplishment. Me, Drew, Elijah, and a few people that Drew knew professionally have been promoting the event since we decided it would be cool to have it open to the public.

Although my focus tonight would be on my music, I understood that I may also have to do some networking as well. My manager was working overtime trying to convince the right people to attend. She invited a couple of media and music blogs and a few local up-and-coming artists.

I wasn't sure who all would actually show up, but I didn't expect the turnout to be big considering the fact that I was still a newbie. Regardless of how many people showed up, I planned to have an amazing time. This was my first musical project, so I didn't give a damn if me and Drew were the only people there, I was still gonna have a blast.

When we arrived at the venue, I surveyed the space and from the outside, it seemed like the perfect sized building to accommodate the event, not too big nor too small.

Once I made my way in, I was shocked to see the number of faces that I did. I wasn't sure if people decided to attend because they were genuinely interested in hearing my EP or if they just wanted to enjoy the free food and liquor. Either way, it was my job to make sure that everyone who stepped foot inside this building would leave this place a new fan of my work.

Drew kept reminding me throughout the night to interact with everyone, so that's what I did.

Before each song played, there was a brief interlude where I would speak to the audience and describe my thought process as I was writing the song. As an attempt to connect with everyone on a deeper level, I shared a few personal details that I would normally feel self-conscious about. It was no longer something I was embarrassed by, so I now felt comfortable sharing.