The poppyblood killer

Chapter 13

For the first time since I met him, Sherlock looks genuinely shocked.

- My first major case was the murder of your parents, Sherlock asks.

- How can this be, I ask in my head.

Suddenly, memories flood back, transporting me to that dreadful day when I learned my parents were gone forever. They were murdered, and the culprit was never found.

- The Poppyblood Killer is targeting suspects in your parents' murder, has abducted your roommate and is baiting you to investigate him. You are the common thread, the piece that ties everything together, Sherlock says. His words barely register. All I can think about is that tragic day.

- I wish they were here. I wish they could've seen me grow up and follow in their footsteps. I wish, I say in my head. A choked sob escapes me, and I cover my face.

- Ah, forgive my lack of sensitivity, Sherlock says.

- I'm sorry. I just wasn't prepared to have it come up so suddenly, I say.

- There's no need to apologize. You must've been quite young when it happened, Sherlock says.

- I was ten. From then on, I went from foster home to foster home, I say.

- I lost my parents at a young age as well, Sherlock says. Startled, I lift my head.

- Did you, I ask.

- My older brother raised me. While not quite the same as your situation, it had its own challenges, Sherlock says.

- At least you weren't alone. None of those foster homes ever really felt like home to me, I say.

- Yes, while Mycroft and I have our differences, being with family was preferable to living with strangers. Still, it was never quite the same, Sherlock says.

- I suppose a brother can't be a parent, no matter how hard he tries, I say,

- And even if he could, there would always be something missing, Sherlock says. As I look into his eyes, I can almost imagine him as a vulnerable, young child. Though he may appear cold, I know he does feel emotion. And I understand the pain he must've felt.

- I'm sorry, I say.

- Ah, the point was to show you that I can empathize, not to elicit your sympathy. I may not express my feelings properly all the time, but know that I do sympathize, Sherlock says.

- Thank you, I say.

- I never thought he would be the one I'd open my heart to about my pain, but now it feels natural, I say in my head.

- For years, I felt unwanted. I felt there was no place I belonged, I say.

- It can be painful to feel like an outcast, even in what should be your home. It wasn't until I found my calling as a detective that life began to feel right again, Sherlock says.

- That's exactly it. I never felt I had a home until I rented that little flat with Clare. I thought that as a journalist, I'd be continuing my parents' work and have a proper life again. But it wasn't meant to be, I say.

- Even that was taken from you. I am sorry my one failure all those years ago has caused you so much pain. If only I had more experience or had made the connection to the Shadow Syndicate, Sherlock says.

- No, it wasn't your fault. You put so much pressure on yourself to solve every case, but it's not always possible. You're only human, after all, I say.

- Some might disagree with that statement, Sherlock says.

- Well, I've seen the real you, I say. I look into his eyes.