TAQDEER SE BANDHE.

02. SHIVJI KI ABHARI.

"Dukh ke saath saath khushiyaan bhi gin,
Jaane kise pata zindagi ke bache hain aur kitne din."

RUDRANI ANIKET

"Rudrani neeche aao, tumse kuch baat karni hai!" I heard my uncle, Rakesh Sharma, shout from downstairs.
"Ji chacha ji, aayi." I replied and went downstairs.
Everyone was present in the living room, my aunt, my two cousin brothers and my uncle.

My parents had died when I was just five, in a car accident. I, for a while, couldn't understand what had happened but eventually, in few years, I understood that they were never coming back. I was heartbroken and angry with... everything and everyone. My parents, the world, my family, my birth.
My mother's side family refused to take me in, hence my father's side of family was compelled to keep me.

They weren't brutal or abusive with me, but they weren't warm either. When Aarav and Arnav would bring good marks when we were children, they were always rewarded with hugs, kisses and chocolates, while I was gifted chocolates and a pat on the head with an occasional awkward hug by my aunt.

Nothing seemed to be important to me. Seeing other children being loved and cherished made me feel lonely and unwanted. But then I found Shivji, I found the peace I felt when I chanted 'om namah shivaye' everytime I was anxious. I found that I wasn't alone, Shivji was behind me with every step I took.

I wasn't hungry for materialistic things, I just wanted to feel the warmth and the love that radiates from somebody who wants you and is not forced to keep you.

I'll not be ungrateful, since I had it better than so many people in the world. Thankyou Shivji for everything you have done for me.

There's just one wish, that please find me someone exactly like you, who protects me, respects me and loves me, thankyou.

"Aao Rudrani, idhar baitho." Chachi ji, Nidhi Sharma, made me sit beside her.

I had a little idea what they wanted to talk about. It was about my marriage. I was 22 when they had started finding men for me, saying that it would atleast take an year and they'd need to start early.

I wasn't very pretty. I didn't match any beauty standards. I was mid-sized, 5'3 and had wheatish skin tone. I was also sure that I wouldn't get a husband easily. But I trusted my Bholenath, I knew he'd have someone for me in the store.

I was a physics teacher for high school classes in the morning and a kathak dance teacher by the evening. I loved my profession with all my heart.

I also loved a girl I had found on the first day of my B.sc degree, Arohi.
She was the one who had made my life bright. I was forever grateful for her. She was my mother, brother, sister, teacher and therapist, all in one.

But she is now in Barelli, after her marriage. Though we never miss each other's calls, that's mostly everyday, I still miss her.

"Maine tumhare liye var dhoodh liya hai, tumhari shaadi parso hai, tayar rehna. Aaj uski maa tumse milne aayengi, acha bartav rakhna, kaafi ache log hain wo." Chacha ji instructed me.

I was shocked, marriage in two days?!? Shivji ye kyaa...

"Samajh gayi na, Rudrani?" Chachi ji nudged my shoulder.
"Ji Chachi ji." I replied with a tight lipped smile.

There was no reason for me to refuse the proposal. This house was not mine. I always felt like a tenant living here. I sometimes felt like I had no home. Like, I was a wanderer. Other than Shivji and Parvatiji's temple, no place provided me comfort. I could only hope for the best.

I went inside my room to get ready and meet my to-be mother-in-law.
_________________________