Why does everyone yearn for and wish to experience love? Have they never suffered from it? Do they not care about the pain it can cause? Did everything go well for them? Where they reciprocated, where they loved? If the answer to this last questions is yes, then why didn't I have the same luck to experience this beautiful feeling that fascinates everyone? I hate the love and I would like to tear this feeling away.
The emotions inside my head when I hear you talk about your "soulmate" make me sick. You always say "She's so perfect", but why don't you realise that feels like hell itself? I don't need reminders that you don't feel that same. With so many people who are your friends and with whom you can talk about it, I had to be the one to listen to you and even give you advice.
Sometimes I think you do it on purpose, otherwise, why when we were alone feel an awkward silence enveloping us?, you look at me in a way as if you could see through me; what I'm going to think, what I will desire, how I'm feeling about you. If I had known that I would go through this torment every time we were together I would have avoided it at all costs, but they always say that "in love you are not in charge". We only will listen to our heart and not to our head, we will only let ourselves be carried away by our emotions and not by our rationality.
Love is turning me a little insane. I've got to get this off my chest and I'll tell you today. When I'm going to talk to you, look at you or listen to you, cupid walks by and shoots an arrow through my heart, it sure sounds like I'm crazy, but don't you feel the same way? I confess that I loved you from the start.
So when I'm lying in my room and look up at the sky I imagene your running to me and confessing your love. It's the only way to alleviate, even a little, this pain of not being loved back. At least this way I don't hurt anyone. So please let me keep doing this...
If only I hadn't seen you in that moment, in that instant, if only you hadn't spoken to me, surely all this I'm going through wouldn't have happened, but at the same time, I wouldn't have met a great person. The problem is not you not noticing me. It's me because I idealised you and thought of a future together. Yes, I'm suffering, but at least I found you, an maybe in another life, we could have been together.
