Cyan
I turned out my sleep no longer feeling any warmth in the bed with me. I grabbed my phone off the table checking the time.
2:47 AM.
Where the fuck this girl go?
I got up out the bed, grabbing a blanket I saw on the gaming chair in her room.
I made my way out the room and walked towards the living room. The closer I got I was able to hear Kamauu playing softly in the background and the smell of weed hit my nose. I stepped into the room and saw Ryan sitting on the couch facing the TV.
"Couldn't sleep?" i asked making her turn towards me.
"Nah, you know how I be." she said taking a puff out her blunt.
I made my way over to the couch before I sat down beside her. I grabbed some of the blanket that was covering me and draped it around us, bringing us closer together.
She draped her arm around me before passing me the blunt. I melted into her getting comfortable before speaking, "How was your night?"
"It was great, honestly. I'm glad you decided to come with me. Did you enjoy yourself?" she asked me.
"I did, I had an amazing night" i said taking a hit from the wood in my fingers.
"I'm glad," she said smiling at me "How's work been lately?"
"Honestly? I've been burnt out. I love working, I love what I do but I've been thinking about stepping back for awhile. I don't exactly want to sell but I need a break. I haven't been able to really live and do the things I love because I've been so focused on making a living for myself. Now that I have I just want to enjoy it before I spend my whole life chasing what's already there." i told her truthfully.
It's been on my mind for awhile now. I just haven't had the motivation to get up and I don't want what I've built from the ground up to fail because of it. I thought opening a new store would give me some motivation but after the process of opening it I fell more into a funk.
"Well you know that's what your general managers and managers are for right? It's not like you're running a hospital or a daycare. You have licensed artists that know what they're doing, seasoned artists with administrative experience, an HR department and a team that stands on the integrity of your shop. You aren't there everyday for your shop back home, don't put extra stress on you now. Step back if that's what you need to do, and if you want I can drop in every once in awhile and make sure things are going okay. I'll even hire some secret shoppers to go in and get tatted then report back to you on how everything is going. You're the boss for a reason, focus on you so you can keep your business up and running." she said.
"Thank you, Ryan. I'm not letting you take on that responsibility though. I'm going to sit down and make a plan it's just been weighing on my mind and I needed to get it out." i told her.
"You don't have to thank me." she said. "I do have a question though."
"Wassup?" i asked her.
"Is this something you're sure about? Like trying us?" she asked me.
Whew.
"Honestly? No, I'm not. I want to pursue you, I know how I feel about you, I'm just not sure thats what you want or what you're ready for. You say you are but 3 years is a long time. I don't want to feel like I'm fighting for you to love me or see me. I want to feel secure and I don't right now. That's not me saying I don't want to try or that I don't want to work towards us being more, I just want to take it slow. I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to hurt you and I don't want the bond that we built to be affected." i said.
