† 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 † Angels Love

Chapter 30

Star's POV

The days blurred together, a relentless march of emptiness that filled every corner of my life. I floated through my classes, my chores, and even my thoughts as if I was a ghost, untethered from the world around me. Nothing seemed to reach me anymore—not the laughter of my classmates, not the warmth of the spring sun, not even the glances Christopher occasionally threw my way.

I missed him. I missed the way he made me feel alive, the way he challenged me, the way his presence seemed to light up a room. I couldn't stop thinking about him, no matter how hard I tried. The truth was, I loved him. I had loved him even before I knew I did, even when I was trying to hate him. But love wasn't enough. Love had cost my brother his life, had turned my family into a battlefield, and now it was tearing me apart.

Zade's death was a constant shadow over me. My father's voice, always so calm and authoritative, echoed in my mind, telling me that Zade had been weak, that his love for Rou had been his downfall. I had believed him, had tried to be the perfect daughter, to live up to his expectations. But I couldn't live like this anymore. I couldn't be torn between my heart and the expectations of the Codex.

I needed a way out.

A desperate thought had been forming in the back of my mind for weeks now, growing stronger with each passing day. If I couldn't be an angel without losing myself, and if I couldn't be with Christopher without defying everything I had been taught, then maybe there was another option. Something drastic. Something that would allow me to escape this pain and confusion once and for all.

Maybe I could become human.

The idea terrified me, but it also offered a strange kind of hope. Humans were free from the rules of the Codex, free from the expectations of angels and devils. They could love whoever they wanted, live their lives without the constant fear of judgment and punishment. If I became human, I could leave this world behind. I could start over, free from the weight of my family's expectations, free to love Christopher if I wanted to.

My decision made, I felt a strange sense of calm settle over me. I would ask my father to change me into a human. He had the power, the connections within the Ministry. He could make it happen. It would be a way to make him see how serious I was, how much I needed to escape.

I headed to the Ministry building, my footsteps echoing through the grand halls. The place was a maze of marble corridors and towering columns, the air heavy with the scent of old parchment and incense. It was a place of power, a place where decisions that shaped the world were made. My father spent most of his time here, his presence a fixture in the highest levels of the angelic hierarchy.

As I approached my father's office, I heard voices inside. The door was slightly ajar, and I hesitated, peering through the crack. An Angel was sitting behind his massive oak desk, his face set in a stern expression. He was speaking with another angel, one I didn't recognize. Their conversation was hushed, the tension in the room palpable.

"...needs to be contained," the other angel was saying. "If word gets out that Zade was turned into a devil and not executed, it could undermine everything we've worked for. The Codex's authority would be questioned. We cannot allow that."

My breath caught in my throat. Zade... alive? The words hit me like a punch to the gut, my mind reeling. My father had told me Zade was dead, that he had been executed for his defiance. But now, hearing this, it felt like the ground was shifting beneath my feet. Could it be true? Could Zade really be alive, out there somewhere as a devil?

"We have been very careful to ensure that Zade's fate remains a secret. Only a handful of us know the truth. We will continue to monitor the situation closely. If necessary, we can take further action to... silence any rumors."

I ran to my father's office, forgetting about Zade for the moment.

I needed to confront him, to demand the truth. But as I stepped forward, preparing to push the door open, another voice stopped me cold.

Steeling myself, I knocked once, twice, and then pushed the door open. My father's office was dimly lit, the heavy curtains drawn against the evening light. He looked up from his desk, his eyes narrowing in concern as he saw me standing there, bleeding and trembling.

"Star!" he exclaimed, rising from his chair. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

I rushed inside, slamming the door behind me. "Dad, please, I need your help," I said, my voice breaking. "I need you to turn me into a human."

He froze, his expression turning from concern to shock. "What? Star, what are you talking about? Why would you want to become human? What happened?"

Tears blurred my vision, and I sank into the chair across from his desk, cradling my injured arm. "I can't do this anymore," I whispered. "Everything is falling apart. The Codex, the rules, everything that's expected of me... I can't keep up. I've messed everything up with Christopher, and now I'm scared. I just want to be free of all of it. I want to be human."

My father came around the desk, kneeling beside me, his hand gently touching my uninjured arm, when Christopher hurt me that one time, when we argued.

"Star, calm down," he said softly. "Talk to me. What happened with Christopher?"

I shook my head, tears spilling down my cheeks. "It's too complicated. I just... I don't want to be an angel anymore. I don't want to be bound by the Codex or the rules. I want to start over, somewhere new, where none of this matters."

He looked at me, his expression torn between concern and confusion. "Star, becoming human is a serious decision. Once it's done, there's no going back. You'd be giving up everything- your powers, your immortality. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes," I said, my voice firm despite the tears. "I can't keep living like this, with all these expectations, all these rules. I just want to be free. Please, Dad, help me."

He hesitated, his eyes searching mine for some sign, some explanation. "Star, I need to know what's going on. What has you so upset? Does this have anything to do with your brother?"

I froze, my breath catching in my throat. "Zade?" I asked, confusion flickering in my mind. "What does this have to do with Zade?"

He frowned, straightening up. "You know as well as I do how much losing him affected you. Ever since he... since he died, you've been different. But this... asking to become human... I never thought it would come to this."

The room seemed to spin, and I gripped the edge of the chair, my heart racing. My father didn't know. He didn't know Zade was alive, hiding out in the human world. I felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over me, a secret I'd kept from him, another burden on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, more to myself than to him. "I didn't mean to... I just can't handle it anymore."

There was a creak from the hallway outside, and I turned, my heart leaping into my throat. The door was slightly ajar, and a shadow moved outside, disappearing around the corner. My breath hitched, and a chill ran down my spine. Had someone been listening? The thought made my skin crawl, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up.

"Who's there?" I called, my voice shaking.

No answer came, just the distant echo of footsteps, retreating down the corridor. My mind raced, thoughts jumbled and frantic. Had they heard everything? About Zade? About me wanting to become human?

My father placed a hand on my shoulder, his grip firm. "Star, if you're serious about this, we need to think carefully. Becoming human isn't just about escaping your problems. It's a permanent change. You need to be absolutely certain."

"I am," I said, though my voice wavered. "I can't keep living like this, Dad. I just can't."

He sighed, his face drawn with worry. "Alright. If this is truly what you want, I'll help you. But you need to promise me that you'll take time to think it over. Really think. I don't want you making a decision you'll regret."

I nodded, though my thoughts were far from the conversation. Someone had been listening. I had no doubt about it. And that someone had just learned my darkest secret. 

However this time was the first time in my entire life, when I saw him actually worried. Wanting to help. I felt...

Safe.