Daisuke never knew when the flame went out in him. Not a life flame, but when the mask became him.
He remembers washing up on Odo; he remembers the pain, the screaming, the concerned people trying to help him. His face injured by so many glass shards, he thought losing his eye had been painful, but this made it seem like a comforting hug. In the end, Daisuke Serizawa was supposed to have died with the beast, but he didn’t.
He couldn’t’ tell a soul. No one could know he lived. The prospect of receiving funds to do more research was tempting, but he knew that it would just lead to him being forced to write down how to make the oxygen destroyer all over again. The world couldn’t know Dr. Daisuke Serizawa survived.
Serizawa never imagined himself making a new identity, forging one up for his safety seemed like something he’d only ever do in a fever dream. Yet here he was now, in a hospital back in the mainland, claiming a name of someone who never existed. With a burned Tokyo, records of several people were lost, and he claimed a missing record of a non-existent brother as his own. Several people had lost all their documents in the rampages, so he had all the chances to be grouped with them and get new everythings.
From renowned scientist Daisuke Serizawa to a disfigured John Doe, to a new name, a new face.
He’ll miss his high cheekbones, though he knew the pure force and heat of the destroyer had no care for him or the monster.
After a funeral with an empty casket, he could see the faces of confusion in the small crowd, in his opinion, far more people came to his symbolic burial than he expected. He expected Emiko and Hideo, maybe her father and Shinkichi. But 15 people as well? A shock.
He had never been a believer of Shinto religions, or any religion for that matter, all his visits to temple were more or less to be able to spend more time with his family. So a “western-like” funeral with no prayers of any kind, just a eulogy he himself gave. He could see the one thought among the crowd: “Who is this guy?”
He struck up a conversation with Emiko later, he will miss her, but he hopes she’ll move on and be happy with Ogata. They sat down on a bench outside the graveyard.
“You’re… you’re his brother, right?” She asked, she cried a lot; he wasn’t sure how to feel anymore.
“Yes, I’m…” It’s hard to lie like this, “I’m Daisuke’s brother…”
They remained sitting down, he decided to strike up more talk with her; as much as he felt a deep hurting, he needed to make a new persona. His love for acting and theater, and all those times Eiji took him to the theater and to the movies had to have been worth it.
“You’re… Emiko Yamane, right?” He began “He… talked a lot about you. Didn’t brag… just… nice, that’s all” Would it be too far-fetched for it to be claimed the lack of social skills is just a known issue between two brothers? She seemed a bit shocked at his question, but a sad shocked, and she still answered.
“Yes, I was… his fiancée” She said rather awkwardly. To her, he didn’t know his brother’s fiancée had a boyfriend, to her; a slip would make him hate her. “He never mentioned having a brother.”
“He’s always been like that, never talked much about our family.” Daisuke has to point out his own flaws to make a convincing character, and he’s praying its convincing.
“What’s your name…?” Emiko tentatively asked.
“Ishiro,” he answered “Ishiro Serizawa”
A name that is not his.
A name that now has to be his.
He joined a new college, moved to the US, and had to learn to deal with condolences for a non-existent grief. He met Tomoko Ogashira.
Tomoko was smart, beautiful, kind. She did not mind his limping; his lack of an eye, his burns, and most importantly; it all flowed naturally. No rushing, no shotgun rumors, no nothing. Just a half-blind guy and the woman with a slight lisp, having a beer together and talking in a bar.
A wedding, then a little thing, then another, then a funeral. He got into Monarch, he is sure he managed to balance everything quite well. Then Ren only began to talk to him through Hiromi, the youngest, but even then, very little. Last he heard through Hiromi; he joined a company, a tech company. Ishiro always saw that in him. In addition, he had a girlfriend, good for him. What father isn’t glad his son has a loving girlfriend?
The insurance company covered most of it, and now he has a glass eye. Realistic, but not uncomfortable; he’ll miss his eyepatch, but not having people staring at him anymore is a very welcome change of pace.
He isn’t sure as of when the studying about the kaiju went from a disdainful work thing to a genuine thing he enjoyed. Or when his cynicism began to fade. But there he was, giving Vivienne a small pendant for her 30th birthday. There were small snickers and rumors about them, only in playful tones; there’s no Graham without Serizawa, and there's no Serizawa without Graham. Rumors of a relationship, it would take Mark comparing a picture he took of them to a picture of a couple’s drawing base for them to get why of the in-group jokes.
It is easy to say no one tried to pull him away from the screen when he just sat down and was so tired to even cry seeing her picture now read deceased.
When he made the bomb, he made sure to burn all documents. He was sure all of the information was gone. It wasn’t. Hearing those two words made his soul sunk.
He died for nothing. He left a life behind for no reason. All of it: the hurt, the sobs, the money, the lies, the emptiness. All for nothing, because they found a way to make a new Oxygen Destroyer again, and openly stated the credits to none other than Daisuke Serizawa.
A submarine, a sacrifice. And there he was all over again. It seemed like a mockery of what happened years earlier. However, Ishiro knew that this time, there was no escaping. It all hurt, it all was too hot, and here was Gojira, nearly dead.
He barely let the words out.
“さよなら、友よ”
The world would see a tragic mirror. Twin brothers who died similarly: But Serizawa would always know.
YOU ARE READING
It's you. It'll always be you.
FanfictionDaisuke would always doubt Ishiro's existence. But Ishiro will always know when Daisuke died.