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I am so glad you clicked here just because when people say that they need to hear me feels so good and as my first language is not English so please accept my flaws but emotions are really really true that's what i so I pour my feelings on paper.
Hope the person who clicks here, supports me and let universe support them.
So let us start a journey in which I am going to reveal many things that are happening recently and some glimpses of my life and how is it going and many more............
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I lose the people I love like I lose my favourite doll, eventually it started with my favourite doll, a street dog took her away when I was 5. When I was 6 I lose my grandmother, my Ba she used to love me so much but I used to love her more. She had taught me love. She said me that when i would be a young lady a prince will come for me and she said that she would show me the prince who would take me to the castle and then I would be the princeess but when I was 6 I didn't want a prince all I want was my Ba.
And 6 year old, Ada thought there are no fairytales because after that day no one every told her a tale. And when I was 10 I lost my nana, in a car accident and she was coming to meet me. And she told me she will sleep with me in my pillow castle but she never arrived. It was too difficult for me as a child not to grieve over deaths and it was not stopped.
I was never a god's child. He never loved me.
He took my sister. She was my one and only cousin sister,I have brothers I don't have sister she was only one and he took her too. My aunt blamed me for her death. She looked at me like I am a murder and I killed her. But I loved her too much when she died she was with me she was alergic to kiwis and none of us know that even my aunt and uncle didn't and we both were playing and i bought kiwis from kitchen to eat and she never eats them because she don't like them but it was me who told her to try them and then she was not able to breathe it all happened infront of me and I was not able to do anything. It's was all my fault but my aunt never said that she had a alergy and still she blamed me.
And from that day, a 12 year old have not eaten kiwis I hate them. And from that day I knew I am a murder who doesn't have weapons but the people I love are always taken from me and so I stopped loving people. Not even my parents.
Actually they never loved me. They never did. They loved my brother. When I was born after a year I was sent to Ba. Because my father want to make money and then when she died they came and went never asked me how was I they came because Ba died. And then they took me with them when I was in car i thought I am going to live with them but they stopped the car at nana's and they left me there. From that day I hate them my brother was 2 years old and they never left him, but they did it to me nor him. And from that day I never loved them but when Nana died there was no one with whom they can left me. So I used of live with them. But they never cared.
They don't even think how can I live like that I don't even got my parents love from childhood I was not ready to do everything alone but they made it do to me I was just a child who don't knew how to live with her parents and they used to call me stupid because I can't tie my shoelace because Nana used to do it for me. They don't know how much I have managed to live with them after school I was alone at home there was no one. My brother used to goo to several extra classes but when I insisted they said me no you can't do it. So I used to be alone till 8 and used to cry and cry the loneliness used to kill me I had no one, no one in that big house I was alone. I was not allowed to go out without taking permission I have know how much scarier those evenings were.
And when I turned 15, another blast. I said god never loved me. It was my birthday. I was so excited because they said we would go for a dinner. And at the restaurant I slipped a glass from my hands while drinking water because I never had know to severe water in restaurants. They never took me there with them. Mom scolded me and we left after eating I have not eaten anything because I don't know how to use that expensive forks, when I used my hand dad said it doesn't look good when you eat with your hands don't eat like that. They told me how to use them. So I left the food. And when the glass broke my mom and dad stood up and then they paid the bill. When I went to use the washroom but I forgot to take nina, my teddy from the table I went back and all I hear is your brother and his wife left us this expensive thing what have I done that I am paying her bills,rasing her. She is not my responsibility. He said I know but we don't have any option. They both died but she was pregnant for 8 months and we never knew it and after that who thought that Ada would be alive it was a miracle. She said which is now a curse....
And at that movement, a 15 year old had the biggest heartbreak. Everything she knew was a lie. A terrible lie everything. And God again proved it the people she love always die. He took her real mom and dad from her. I thought why was I alive in my mom's tummy I should have died with her. Maybe there would be our happy family in the heaven. And then I learned i am alone here in this world I have no one and no one. I am alone.
And now I am 17 and there is just a year left to have my dream University and to leave this prison and I would study that hard to make them damm sure that who's daughter i was and to put every single penny on their face. And return it with interest. But let us see where this unfavourite child of God makes her way.
