Gravity Falls Oc backstory

Day 1.

Myro's Journal-
Stan and Ford are off on a voyage, appearntly, Not like I even know them. Hell, I haven't even met them. Mabel and Dipper talk highly of them though, Thats good I suppose? I'm at the shack after a very long and annoying day. The bus driver was an asshole, made my ears bleed slightly, I went to Bill's statue and wouldn't you know it, I tripped and fell and touched its hand. I'm stuck with a very annoying, stupid and dumb 2-D triangle for life life because of a bond. Its Stupid and I hate hate. I hate triangles.

                                                                  THE REAL LIFE YYYAYYYY

The bus just arrived in Gravity Falls, That damn bus driver needs to shut the fuck up, I'm only one on the bus, why the hell is he yelling? My ears are bleeding now, Great.
I grabbed my bag and headed off the bus, and checked my phone. The Shack is like 40, 50 minutes away? Ill take a short cut through the woods. It'll be faster.

_20 Minutes Later_

So, I've been walking for quite sometime, ran into like some garden gnomes but alive?? Dipper told me they tried marrying Mabel, disgusting. So, as the amazing older sibling I am. I kicked the garden gnome! It was hilarious, Huh. I'm close to the Shack, But I see a statue of a Triangle with a hat and one eye, plus a bowtie. Oh, Dipper told me about him, His name is Bill, right? Rather stupid really. Tried world domination, not  like I don't agree with the triangle it would be fun to rule over like, Everyone. Hell, That would be amazing. except its against the law and probally make a tyrant so, Cant do that. Oh well.
Oh the tiny dumb men are back, what the hell do they want?- WHY YOU BITCH- TRIPPING ME HOW DARE YOU.... uhh, oh no, I mayhaps have taken hold of a hand of a certain individual to not fall. Uhuhuh... Im dead, were screwed.
uh-uhuh...
"Oh, Gravity falls its good to be back!, Oh shit, You okay Skull?" I heard Demonic unfrozen, unstoned Triangle say, Uh, we're all fucked that's my fault. The fuck he just call me?
"Skull?" I question, looking at the one eyed freak, Hes a triangle that's weird.
"Yeah, Skull! Its your zodiac, may not have much purpose in life, buteveryone has one, or almost everyone has one." Cypher said, That makes abousltely no sense, but pop-off I guess?
"Okay? Go back to being stone, I don't like you."
"Boo fucking hoo, I wont be stone unless I'm made into stone again, If I'm stone you are too."
"excuse me?.."
"Once you freed me, You become bonded to me For Life. Therefore, If anything happens to me, it happens to you, Ha."
"God damnit, that's not fair."
I'm bonded to a demon that's not fair, This wasn't even my fault it was that stupid gnome, Dippers gonna be pissed^^ Thats nice.

_40 minutes of Cypher being stupid, annoying, retard, and a triangle. Later_

So I finally reached the shack, and I met Soos and his girlfriend, Not much to say about Bill, I just uh, Kinda filled the dude in of what happened, and swore to him that I'd keep the one-eyed demon out I suppose. Now im sitting in a room, lying in the dark with a triangle that tried to take over the world. Lovely. Good Night.