No cause for concentration 🩹

'when will you, start looking out for me too?'

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Title song: looking out for you, by joy again

This is my first time writing a story on this app!
*TW FOR SH MENTIONED + PAST SUICIDE ATTEMPT! *
Enjoy!
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Hello my name is Stan marsh

I'm 17. I like music, rain and tv shows. I love my friends.

Last fall, I tried to kill myself.

My super best friend ,Kyle, found me, and I think it traumatised him.

When I came out of the hospital, he wouldn't leave me alone by myself. I think he was afraid that I would do something stupid, that he'll regret.

When I went back to school 2 weeks later everything.. seemed different.
People would stare at me when I walked down the corridors, rumours spread quickly in this shitty town. And it fucking sucks when it's about you.

Kyle was with me the whole time, hand in hand, walking beside me, he made sure when I got out that everything that was sharp was locked up in both of our houses, he convinced his parents to lock up the sharp objects in his house saying that ' I would mostly be over at their house more then my own' ( which was true.)

Kyle used to keep track of 'If I took my meds today' which was quite annoying but he stopped doing That after a few weeks of me showing approvement in my health, it may have only little things, like brushing my teeth, washing my hair , getting up from my bed, ect. I really didn't think it was big deal but to Kyle and my mom it was.

I got pulled out of thought when I heard a harsh whisper in my ear, "Stan!" I turned my head to my left letting out a hum of acknowledgment of course it was Kyle, "Stan, you okay?" He whispered with his eyebrows furrowed at me
" yea I'm fine, sorry zoned out" I told him In a harsh whisper trying to be as quiet as I can so I didn't get caught talking in class, Kyle looked at me unsure, his eyes still looking concerned but they relaxed when I gave him a half-assed smile, I don't know how to properly smile to be honest, it was a while since I actually smiled, " okay dude I was just asking if you wanted to come to my house after school ended and we could chill and watch a movie?" He asked shooting me a grin that's only saved for me, " sure man." I whisper back, " KYLE BROVLOSKI AND STANLEY MARSH!" Mr garrison yells, glaring at us two " YOU CAN SPEAK TO EACH OTHER AFTER CLASS!" He continues " me and Stan are sorry Mr garrison" Kyle apologises and I nod in agreement, Mr Garrison sighs and continues to teach the class, me and Kyle look at each other as we start silently giggling to each other

the class continues for another 20 minutes before the bell rings, " good bye everybody, have a good weekend!" Mr Garrison says but is ignored by the sound of chairs scratch on the floor and loud chatting, I stand up and wait for the horde to leave the class, Kyle runs up to me and pulls me along gently towards the horde again, I let him pull me to the exit, dogging the others in the horde and pushes the doors open, he then trots down the sets of stairs with no hesitation and I finally feel like I can fucking breathe again, Kyle looks at me " hey dude! Should we play Mario cart when we get to mine?" He asks in an upbeat tone, " only if we can play guitar hero after." I say " deal!" Kyle's shoots back.

When we get to Kyle's house the first thing I do is drop my bag and flop onto his bed face first before flipping my self so I'm lying on his bed looking at the ceiling,

I let out a exhausted sigh " dude.. I hate how we have maths for the last period on a Friday.." I complain, Kyle giggled at my dramatic sigh " dude I think everybody hates it.." he says looking at my hands " dude..- I look at him I let out a confused 'hm.?' - your hands are shaking like crazy.." Kyle says cautiously, I look down at my hands which are in fact shaking like a fucking earthquake just happened on them " oh." Is the only thing that came out my mouth, Kyle was staring at me worriedly "Stan did you take your medicine this morning?" He asked " oopies?." I replied sheepishly, Kyle sighed " at least take the other ones now ." He muttered digging through my bag to find the pills my mother kept in a ziplock bag,Kyle handed me the pills and grabbed my wrist lightly so he doesn't hurt my damaged wrist, we went down stairs and he handed me a cup of water, he watched me carefully as I put the pill in my mouth and drunk some water to make it go down my throat, I placed the glass down and glared at the slightly smiling red headed boy in front of me
" thank you.." he replied quietly.

We went back to his room, we were both quiet the whole time we walked into his room, I sat down on his bed as I watched him move towards his laptop and grab it before walking back to the bed and sitting down next to me, he put in his password and went to Netflix, " what movies should we watch?" Kyle asks me " um.. maybe.. the conjuring set?" I reply " sure!" Kyle responds with a light happy tone.