I will love you from afar

Chapter 4: Next Day

Sunlight filtered through the curtains, brushing against my face like a gentle nudge. I groaned, stretching as I glanced at the clock. 10 a.m. already? I pushed myself up and looked out the window. The view was stunning-lush greenery bathed in the morning glow. For the first time in a while, I felt at peace. I could finally take a break, especially now that I had finished the deadline for my book.

My moment of tranquility was interrupted by the shrill ring of my phone. I reached for it, seeing "Mom" flash on the screen.

"Hello, Mom," I answered, trying to sound upbeat.

"Where are you, Alexandra?" Her voice was sharp, concern laced with irritation.

"I'm in Thailand," I replied, trying to keep my tone light.

"Thailand?! What are you saying? You traveled without telling us? What the heck are you doing?" Her voice rose with each word, the anger clear.

"Mom, please calm down. I just needed a break. I missed Thailand, and I'm staying with Auntie. Don't worry about me," I assured her, hoping to ease her nerves.

There was a pause, then she sighed. "Okay, just don't cause any trouble. Behave yourself, Alexandra. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom. Say hi to Dad for me," I said, smiling as I ended the call.

I set the phone down and took a deep breath. It was good to hear her voice, even if she was upset. But now, all I wanted was to soak in the quiet of this place and figure out my next move.

I grabbed my phone and opened Instagram, my fingers hesitating for just a moment before I tapped on the app. My heart quickened as I scrolled through the feed, searching for Sam's profile among the sea of images. When I finally found her account, my breath caught. The familiarity of her face was still there, yet she had changed in ways I couldn't quite put into words.

With a nervous flutter in my chest, I began checking for any new posts. Her most recent one was just a few hours ago- a picture of her on set, looking effortlessly stunning as always. The caption read, "Another day, another adventure. Grateful for the journey."

I couldn't help but smile as I studied the photo. She looked happy, successful, like she had found her place in the world. A part of me wanted to reach out, to comment, or send her a message, but doubt held me back. Would she even remember me?

Instead, I found myself liking the post, a small gesture that made me feel connected to her in some distant way. I lingered on her page for a while longer, scrolling through old photos, trying to piece together the parts of her life I had missed. Each picture told a story, and I couldn't help but wonder what she would think if she knew I was watching from afar, still caring after all these years.

As I continued scrolling through Sam's Instagram, a particular post caught my eye. It was a photo tagged with her and another woman-her co-star, I assumed. They were smiling, looking so comfortable and close that my heart clenched. The caption read something playful, hinting at their onscreen chemistry, but it was the comments that really got to me. Fans were gushing about how perfect they were together, calling them the ideal "love team."

I stared at the photo, feeling a pang of something I hadn't expected-jealousy, maybe? Or was it regret? Whatever it was, it hurt. Seeing her with someone else, even if it was just for the cameras, stirred up emotions I thought I had under control.

It wasn't just the image that stung; it was the realization that someone else had been there with her, sharing moments and creating memories in the years I had been absent. I knew it was irrational-this was her career, her life-but I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, like I had missed out on so much more than I realized.

I put my phone down, unable to look at the screen any longer. The emotions swirling inside me were overwhelming, a mix of sadness, longing, and confusion. I had come all this way to find her, but now I wasn't sure if I was ready for what that might mean.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back, staring blankly at the ceiling. The weight of what I had just seen pressed down on me, and a bitter thought crept into my mind: Maybe I'm too late to come back.

I had spent years imagining this moment, thinking about what it would be like to see her again, to reconnect and maybe even rekindle what we had. But now, seeing her so happy, so full of life with someone else-even if it was just for the screen-made me question everything.

Was I just being selfish, trying to insert myself back into her life after all this time? I wondered. She had moved on, built a career, found new people to share her life with. And here I was, clinging to a memory from ten years ago, hoping it could somehow be revived.

Maybe I'm a coward, I thought, feeling a dull ache in my chest. I had run away without saying goodbye all those years ago, too scared to face what I felt. And now, even after all this time, that fear was still there, lurking beneath the surface.

But as much as it hurt, I couldn't deny one thing-I was happy for her. Truly. Even if I wasn't a part of her life anymore, seeing her smile like that, knowing she was doing well, brought a strange kind of peace. It was bittersweet, knowing that the person who had meant so much to me was thriving, even if it was without me.

Maybe this was how it was meant to be, I told myself. Maybe my role in her life had ended long ago, and I was just holding onto something that was never mine to keep.

To be continued....