There it is was again, October 12th. Me and Laura's, my twin, 16th birthday. I could hear mom and dad celebrating her.. not me..why not me? I don't know what I did to deserve this. I don't know why....I just wanted to be loved too..why is she better? It's not fair.....well..whatever. it's not like this birthday will be any different. I should go downstairs and get breakfast before I get yelled at. I don't know what to wear so I'll just put on my clothes from last week. They haven't been washed in..well..I don't know...anyways, I can already hear my mom yelling at me even if it's just an illusion from fear, I try my best not to upset her. There's a glimmer of hope just sitting there, hoping mom and dad still love me, it feels like it's dying. I'm finally going downstairs after what felt like forever. Dad's watching tv, and mom's pampering Laura like a baby..like always.
"Took you long enough [placerholder ^_^], The breakfast is cold because of you and your sister is starving." It's what I heard my mom say, she's looking at me like I'm a piece of trash left on the ground for weeks..she's not wrong. I feel like trash, just like this house and family feels like trash. She's probably waiting for me to reply huh? I'll try to put some effort.
"..Sorry ma, I don't feel good today.." That was weak, I bet she doesn't think I'm sincere...well, I can't really care any less so its fine..I think. She seems mad at my response..really mad...oh boy, Laura's staring. I bet she has something stupid and snarky to say, it's just brewing in her mind waiting to flow out.
"God [placerholder ^_^], it's always about you huh? When are you going to acknowledge Laura? Anyways, It's your sister's special day today too, so don't make it about yourself, and don't call me that. Have some manners." Those words wounded me, but I'm not gonna cry in-front of them...why should I? They won't care, no, they'll be mad. 'Boys can't cry,' they say, it's not true. But I'll just celebrate alone again.
"Sorry ma..I mean..Ms." they're treating me like I'm inferior, they're not wrong either. I just wish they acknowledge me for once, see my achievements..but it's always her huh? Always Laura...Laura Laura Laura..I'm gonna kill her..I swear..
"Hey [placerholder ^_^]....you okay," I looked over to see who who ask that dumb question..it was my sister.. Laura.. she cared..? "You seemed pretty down.. wanna talk? :)" No..nonono..she's just trying to make mom proud of her again, she doesn't care. Before anybody could register I was tackling her and gripping her neck as hard as I could, struggling against her desperate struggles and pleads..in the next moments my father pulled me off as my mother held Laura in my arms, berating me for my actions. All I could see was red, like a cooped up anger inside of me was finally pouring out on the one person who probably still cared.. I yelled, I protested, struggled, tried to break free from my father's rip just so I could get revenge. It wasn't fair.. it wasn't... if I can't be loved neither should she.. right? Dad locked me against the wall in a hold as the red and blue police lights arrived, it hurts...it hurts so much...
The holding cell is cramped, I don't like it. Mom and dad keep asking me questions..and begging, begging for me to explain why I would attack their precious girl..it's like I'm an outcast, a monster... it's not fair. I heard that I was going to move to a genuine prison soon...how would people feel? About 16 year old getting put in prison for attempted murder..would they hate me or Mom and dad? They'll most likely hate mom and dad..right? It's common sense to know that a child would have a reason to do something so drastic. Mom and dad tried calling me one last time before I get moved, I didn't answer. I already know their just gonna ask questions about why I hunted my sister, their not gonna ask how I'm doing, their not gonna ask my motives..they won't even apologize. All they do is talk about her..
The prison smells like musk and mold, the meals are disgusting to me. This place is hell, but Its just a month... a month passes by so slowly though. It's okay, it'll be fine since I have my thoughts to occupy me...I just still don't know why they don't love me, I've tried everything, I even went to prison.. its okay though, I still have one more idea.
The month went by quicker than expected, I didn't think that they'd actually come to pick me up either but they did. Mom and dad came to pick me up, of course Laura's here though. The entire car ride was silent with the exception of the radio and mom and dad sometimes chatting with Laura. It's like she's rubbing the fact she's loved for in my face. The ride home felt long, but time passes and its home not-so-sweet home, the first thing I did was head to my room since I already know they'll just go back to ignoring me. I laid on my barely made bed and thought about everything that recently just happened, and thought and thought and thought until...an idea popped into my head, they still don't love me? I'll make them. I didn't bother to pack a bag, I slipped my shoes on and went downstairs.
Of course, there they were, Babying Laura again like she's the only thing in the world that matters. I bet I could easily slip out the house too. And that's exactly what happened... I'm not a monster though so I left a note, like they would read it anyway. They wouldn't care if I said goodbye and ended it all in-front of them, that's why I'm going somewhere private. The high school I went too, its bustling with people, mom and dad forced me out of school after Laura hit high school due to budget cuts. I blend in perfectly, who would leave the front unlocked during school? I'm glad I left it.. no-one stopped me..not even a teacher, they think I go here.. its kind of funny.. nobody watched nor stopped me as I slipped onto the roof.. at least until a small crowd formed at the bottom, students staring up trying to discourage me from jumping! Some just assuming this was for attention, though I'm glad I'm finally being noticed..that isn't true. But its okay...
....I didn't think it would be so blissful, death....it felt great..
I felt my soul separate from my body, and I stared down at my distorted bloody body, the fall made it almost unrecognizable with broken bones and torn open flesh were everywhere.. luckily I numbed as soon as I fell..the ambulance and police arrived shortly after to determine my body. I wanted to see one last thing, one thing before I passed on..I wanted to see how my family reacted.. the police were dialing them already, and it must've been almost instant because a few minutes later that familiar car pulled up and my mom came flying out of it towards my body..I don't understand. Why does she care now? Now that I'm dead? I felt numb..I just..couldn't. I don't forgive her, I won't. I don't forgive dad either. I watched as she tightly hugged it and sobbed, the paramedics trying to pull me away from her grasp as she cried.. it made me feel good, mom and dad finally giving me the love I needed after I died? Pointless. They could drown in their sorrow, I won't care. I'll never care, and I'll never forgive them. It felt good to watch as they regretted neglecting me, they'll be haunted with the memories of their actions and the picture of his dead son.
I decided to wait a little longer too see what would happen, the police questioned them. The only thing they did was lie. lie, lie and lie. At least until the police questioned my sister. She told them everything, how they treated me, how they neglected me, how I tried to end it all twice and they brush it off when each time it fails.
Ha..hahaha..they're gone. They're completely broken, their haywire! I didn't expect it. The police took away their custody over Laura and me, like it would even matter. But they can't see their child anymore! Locked away! Finally! Revenge! I feel truly at peace..I'm so happy! The looks on their pathetic faces when they realized it! The looks on their faces as they begged and pleaded for rights over Laura, even if it was just visiting and get shut down instantly! I feel good!
