My Sister Ah Wan

Part 5

12

Heaven must be the most cruel existence in this world.

Just when you think life will continue in happiness, it suddenly appears, shattering that illusion.

My sister was rushed into the emergency room once again.

We had just been discussing how to knit a scarf when she suddenly collapsed.

When my mother arrived, she slapped me across the face.

With a venomous tone, she demanded, "Fang Yin, what did you do to Ah Wan?"

She cursed me, "If anything happens to Ah Wan, I won't let you off."

She moved so quickly that Xie Bo Yan only managed to pull me behind him in time.

He stormed forward, ready to confront her.

I grabbed his arm and shook my head, signaling him to stop.

He frowned and gently touched my face.

"Does it hurt?"

I winced. It did hurt.

My mother continued to curse, accusing me of getting healthier while my sister grew weaker, as if I were doing it on purpose.

She said I was taking revenge on them.

She asked why it was Ah Wan who had to suffer and not me.

Her state was clearly not right. Xie Bo Yan glanced at her coldly before pulling me aside.
In the face of such furious accusations, arguing was pointless.

My father held my mother, not looking at me or saying a word.

While my mother's feelings towards me were filled with anger and hatred, my father was much colder, treating me like I didn't even exist.

In my previous life, the last time I saw him was in the hospital.

He had alcohol poisoning.

When he saw me, he wasn't surprised at all.

He said, "If you get any more calls about me, just ignore them. I didn't raise you, and I don't need you to take care of me in my old age."

He was always clear-minded, coldly ignoring my existence.

13

Xie Bo Yan bought a bottle of cold water for me to press against my swollen face.

He tried to comfort me, "It's going to be fine!"

I nodded and smiled, agreeing with him. "Yes, it will be fine."

Of course, it would be fine. I knew better than anyone that the time wasn't right yet.

Xie Bo Yan took my hand and pried open my tightly clenched fist. My nails had dug so deeply into my palm that they had left bloody marks.
He said, "If you don't want to smile, then don't. It looks awful!"

The emotions I had been forcing down suddenly found an outlet.

I started to sob softly, my breath catching in my throat.

I was scared.

Even though I knew it wouldn't happen now, I was still scared.

My sister was brought back from the brink.

She was placed in the ICU, and it wasn't until half a month later that she was transferred to a regular room.

During that time, I was not allowed to visit her.

My father told me, "Don't come. You can't help with anything, so don't make her more distressed."

I accepted that.

With my sister still unconscious, there really wasn't anything I could do.

There was no point in causing unnecessary trouble just to ease my own mind.

My sister was going to be okay.

And I had more important things to focus on.

I needed to keep working out, study diligently, and eat well.

Xie Bo Yan grew increasingly silent.

The smell of smoke on him grew stronger, and the shadows under his eyes deepened.

I knew he couldn't sleep.

He would often get up in the middle of the night to drink, trying to numb himself.
Just like in the previous life.

The suffocating tension weighed on all of us.

Fortunately, after the rain, there was always a clear sky—my sister woke up.

14

"Were you scared?" my sister asked softly, gently stroking my head.

I leaned against her bed and shook my head. "No, I knew you'd be okay."

"You've lost weight again!" she said.

"Here, have a candy!" She opened her palm to reveal a piece of fruit candy. Her eyes curved into a smile as she said, "Dr. Jiang came by earlier for his rounds, and I asked him for it."

My nose tingled with emotion.

It was just like when we were kids.

She wasn't allowed to eat candy, but she would always find a way to ask the doctors or nurses for some, hiding it away until I visited so she could give it to me.

"I'm all grown up now!" I said, though I still took the candy from her hand.

My sister smiled softly. "No matter how old you are, you'll always be my little darling."

"Did Mom give you a hard time?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, don't worry about it."

She didn't believe me.

"Don't hate her. My illness has driven her nearly mad. She's not just giving you a hard time; she's struggling with everyone."

Including herself.

I knew.

Just as she didn't let me eat meat or gain weight, she hoped I would look sickly and pale, as if that would somehow make things fair for my sister.
But the truth is, she treated herself the same way.

If my sister couldn't eat something, she wouldn't touch it either. When my sister could only consume liquids, she would barely eat or drink anything herself.

She lived like an ascetic.

As she put it, "Ah Wan is suffering. We can't suffer for her, but we can suffer with her."

If my sister fell ill when I was with her, she would hit me.

If my sister fell ill when she was with her, she would hit herself.

She was equally harsh to everyone except my sister.

"I understand. Don't worry about me!"

As we talked, Xie Bo Yan arrived.

He had bought my sister her favorite spider plant.

She preferred the lush green of plants over the bright colors of flowers.

My sister looked at him with amusement. "How did you end up even thinner than Yin Yin?"

I took the opportunity to complain, "He doesn't eat or sleep."

Xie Bo Yan shot me a glance. "Am I some kind of immortal?"
But my sister's expression turned complicated. She looked at me and said, "Yin Yin, go play outside for a while. I need to talk to your Brother Bo Yan."

I nodded and stepped out.

I knew what they were going to talk about.

My sister would surely be comforting him, telling him not to feel guilty or blame himself.

I used to think that the emotions tormenting him were rooted in longing.

But later, I realized that during those years, he seemed to live in a deeper state of despair.

15

As the weather slowly grew colder, my sister's health also began to improve.

However, my parents' spirits sank lower and lower.

I often saw them arguing with the doctors, demanding to know when a suitable kidney donor would be found.

I had also seen them more than once pleading with the doctors, begging them to save their daughter.

In contrast, my sister had become more peaceful.

The scarf I was knitting for her was nearly finished.

She was delighted. "It'll be ready just in time for the cold weather."

Suddenly, I said, "Sister, when spring comes and the flowers bloom, let's go on a trip!"

"A trip?" Excitement flickered in her eyes. "Where to?"
"Wherever you want to go."

She thought for a moment and then shook her head. "I'm not sure where, but it seems like anywhere would be nice!"

Xie Bo Yan suggested, "Yunnan?"

"Is it beautiful there?"

"It should be!" he said, pulling out his phone. "Let me check."

My sister laughed. "Are you serious? I might not be able to go, but you can take Yin Yin. Send me pictures when you get there."

"We'll go together!" I grabbed her hand.

Her smile faded a little. "Mom and Dad won't agree to that."

I said, "Then I'll take you and we'll elope!"

My sister put on an exasperated expression and said, "Don't talk nonsense!"

She turned to Xie Bo Yan and said, "Aren't you going to do something about her?"

He looked up and replied, "I'll keep watch when you two elope."

We all burst into laughter.

The good news came on a Thursday. The sun was shining, the breeze was gentle—it was a beautiful day.

I was working on practice questions when I got a call from my sister.

Choking back tears, she said, "Yin Yin, they found a kidney. After the surgery, let's go to Yunnan, okay?"

I smiled and said, "Okay!"

The timing of the kidney match couldn't have been better.

My sister's body was strong enough to handle the surgery, and her condition hadn't deteriorated to its worst.

Everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly.

My sister was overjoyed, excitedly talking about all the things she wanted to do after the surgery, like a child with newfound hope.

My parents watched her indulgently.

For the first time, my presence didn't provoke harsh words from them.

Xie Bo Yan stood quietly at the back, saying nothing.