Note 1

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by raecannotchange

by raecannotchange

I've been trying so hard
I've been trying so much
I've been trying for 17 years
I've been trying to stay happy
I've been trying to kill myself

This collection isn't a cry for help. It is a declaration of resignation.

I don't want anyone to save me. I don't know why I have anyone at all. Neither do I deserve them, nor do they need to attend my funeral.

I can't make sense of my words right now. I apologise to whoever may be reading.

I am 17. I still live under my parents' roof. They are nice people. My dad buys me what I want. My mom protects me from teachers and students that harass me. My sister teaches me life lessons. I love them. I cannot fathom a day where I haven't thought of putting a kitchen knife through my brains.