The Night is so Cold Without You

My Night is filled with coldness

Journal Entry #1

Why did you leave? Why didn't you say goodbye? Why would you go without warning? Why didn't you tell me about your suffering?
I wish I was there to spend your last days with you.

Alexia Rescuffe, a 21 year old girl who died due to heart failure on the  month of June.
Mia Blue, a 20 year old who was Alexia's girlfriend, grieving for her loss.

Journal Entry #2

Alexia was my love, without her I feel nothing, Im just numb, I hate this feeling, I hate feeling so cold. I want to hug you, kiss you, cuddle you, give you everything.. Yet, I can't, how can I give you those if you're not here with me?

Alexia didn't tell me anything, she looked happy, she knew she would die, she knew that her heart was slowly failing her. Yet she never told me anything, it hurts to be kept in the dark, but I can't change the past, what's happened has happened.

Maybe if I were more observant I would've noticed her feeling weak, maybe I would've noticed how hard she was trying just to smile. I should've noticed when she started coughing a lot, she told me it was sore throat. I Miss you.

I miss her warmth, I miss her voice, I miss her everything, I miss her singing me a song at night when I feel down, when I can't sleep, when I wanted to curl up and just cry. It just feels so cold now, even in the summer I can't find the warmth I want, It's so cold, someone give me warmth. I Miss you.

Journal Entry #3

After a few months, I started feeling warmer, I started to move on. I still wear the necklace she gave me, I still remember her last words to me.

"Never forget to move on and smile, keep going forward and never give up, everything will be fine soon."

Her words always inspired me, her voice is so smooth and warm it brings me to sleep with just simple words. I miss cuddling her to sleep, I miss hugging her whenever she's cooking, I miss her calls when she has to go to her parents house. I Miss you

Journal Entry #4

Our anniversary in November always feels blue, not like the warm, joyful vibe it used to bring. Now it just feels like Im missing half my soul. I visited her grave today, I replaced the flowers and talk to her. Whenever I speak to the grave, its as if she's really there, listening, talking to me. I Miss you.

Journal Entry #5

My first Christmas without you was just me curled up in my room, listening to Christmas songs. I didn't bother to go out, I have no family anyways, you were the only person I could spend Christmas with. I remember your last gift to me, it was crocs, I hope I never grow out of it, I enjoy wearing these crocs. I Miss you.

Journal Entry #6

Its the New Years, I decided to go out and watch the fireworks at the festival. I didn't want to be cooped up in my room during New Years. I watched as fireworks bloom the sky, I wonder Were you watching too? I Miss you.

Journal Entry #7

Valentine's day made me feel jealous of others, it also made me sad. We have a tradition during Valentines day, we would bake heart cookies and eat them while watching a cheesy Romance Movie. After we would go on a date and end the day with cuddles. Now I cant do it anymore, I eat the cookies alone while watching a Sad Romance movie. It's so lonely without you. I Miss you.

Journal Entry #8

Its March! Your birth month, Happy Birthday Alex! I went to visit your grave, I bought cake with me, its your favorite flavor to, Mocha. I sang Happy Birthday on your grave and the candles blew out by themselves, was it you Alexie? I ate a slice and left the rest on the grave for you to enjoy. I Miss you

Journal Entry #9

April, we were suppose to go to Hawaii this month and enjoy a nice Vacation. I just canceled the plane ticket and soent my summer alone in my room, eating ice cream and watching our old videos. You would think Im so pathetic right now, I promised you I would never do things like this, but its hard not to. I Miss you

Journal Entry #10

May.. thats my birth month, I spent my birthday in a cafe, eating cake. I was silent the entire time, I didn't bother to blow candles, it didn't feel right without you. Maybe I start moving on, if I can that is. My Birthday was so lonely, I didnt get cuddles at night, I didn't get a Happy Birthday Song from you. I Miss you

Journal Entry #11

Its been one year since your death, I decided its time I let go and move on. If I continue to do this, I won't let you rest in peace. Im starting to learn that maybe, just maybe, I need to find peace with myself. I keep blaming myself that it was my fault for not noticing when in reality, you didn't want me to know, you didn't want me to worry. I Miss you Alexia, its time I move on.

Journal Entry #12

Your Mom visited me a while ago, she said that she wanted to give me some of your ashes for keeping. Apparantly, you've been talking to her about me, about how I'll react to your death, about how I need to face it on my own, the fact that you know so much about me warms my heart. Now I have a necklace with your ashes, this means I can be with you forever.

It may be hard to move on, but I know I will eventually. It's hard to move on when The Night is so Cold Without You. I just Miss you so fucking much. Goodbye Alexia, I love you.

"It's okay to grieve, just remember to move on and face reality"

Mia closed her journal and looked out the window with a sad look in her eyes, she grabbed her notebook (Journal), keys, her coat and went out of the house. She drove to the cemetary and parked her car, Mia walked around the graves looking for the name she was looking for, she finally found it after a while.

Alexia Rescuffe
2003 - 2024
A loving daughter, Lover, Granddaughter, friend, family.

Mia sat down infront of the grave and gently placed her Journal on top.
"Hey, Alex. How're you there? I miss you."
She spoke softly as if she were talking with an infant.
"I've decided to move on, I've decided I should let you rest in peace. I miss you though."
She sighed and replaced the flowers that were wilting.
"I got your favorite, Sunflowers."
She looked at the grave again before looking up at the night sky.
"Can you give me a sign you're listening?"
The winds blew and it was as if someone gave Mia a kiss. She smiled and tears brimmed her eyes.

She knew that the wind might have just been a random breeze, but she would like to think that maybe, just maybe, Alexia is really listening, thats her lover was truly there. She looked up at the night sky again and saw one star brighter than the rest.
"Maybe this bright star is you, my love. I sound like a delusional, crazy girl, but.. I really want to believe its you, watching over me as I sleep."
She sighed and gently read her Journal.
"My past year has been hectic, I was a mess on holidays and birthdays, you would think I was pathetic for being like that."
She sighed and closed her Journal, placing it back on top of the grave.

"Why didn't you say anything..?"
She spoke with sadness in her tone.
"Why didn't you tell me you were sick? I could've been there for your last moments. I know I can't change the past, but it hurts so damn bad."
Tears slowly fell from her eyes.
"I miss you."
She was sobbing now, it hurt so much she missed Alexia, she wanted her back.

"Mia! Mia! MIA!"
Mia abruptly woke up by the sound of her name, she looked around and there she saw Her, Alexia.
"Alex..?"
Alexia sighed in relief and hugged Mia tightly
"You were having a nightmare, Mia.. I got worried"
Mia felt confused yet relieved at the same time. She hugged Alexia back, tighter.
"So I was just having a nightmare.. it wasnt true.."
Alexia smiled and gave a small kiss on Mia's lips.
"Let's go back to sleep okay?"
Mia smiled and nodded snuggling closer to Alexia
"I love you, Alex.."
"I love you too, Mia"

'Maybe the night isn't so cold after all'
Mia thought and smiled as she slowly let herself sleel without any dreams, just cuddles from her girlfriend.

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And thats it for this one shot! Thank you for reading my random story that I made in the middle of the night!
Let me know if you want similar stories like this! Thanks a lot!