Paradise? [JiSuSingBin] [Deukae] [Idolverse] [OS] #1

Paradise?

It had all started during BEcause era.

Had it?

Siyeon wasn't sure anymore.

Her memories were scrambled.

Her previous comebacks had been a hazy blur; a blur that she often feared to talk about.

She was scared of the media. Scared of the public.

Thinking about it further, after all that she had been through, after all that she had witnessed, she was scared of society, really; South Korean society. Her society.

Many times before, she had pushed through. Many times before, she had endured every last ounce of painful and unpretty.

Even as it sliced every bit of her, she had survived it.

As moments passed life ceased being breathable. Siyeon started choking, little by little. Her mind; shutting down, small piece by small piece.

Something wasn't right.

It has never been right.

Siyeonie's head would often tell her.

Her body trembled, trying to make sense of itself—sense of the world around her. Her focus shifted and scattered as her apocalyptic subconscious shied away from reality. Feeling weak and unstable, Siyeon would flee herself, leaving a hollowed ghost behind.

A ghost that appeased the public with parodic energy.

Siyeon.Exe, they would call her. A nonworking state of being that was the cause of unorthodox entertainment.

A freak show.

Silly. Weird. Dumb.

That's the way Siyeon was labeled whenever she disconnected from reality.

Her mental instability would serve for laughs and what could be described as personal curiosity.

Better to be stigmatized as a cute freak, than just a freak.

That's what the company said after finding a humorous YouTube compilation of Siyeon's live disassociation.

That day Siyeon laughed about it as expectations were set upon her.

Yet, overnight, Siyeon silently cried about it in the comforting arms of one Lee Yubin and one Kim Bora.

Lee Siyeon could only be truly herself when in the embrace of sweet intimacy; of safe secrecy.

Wasn't it that, the way of the idol?

Wasn't she just one worthless struggling artist?

She believed it so.

Nothing special. Nothing big. Just another grain of sand in the vast idolized desert.

Well.

The sun burnt bright in her desert. It burned to the bone and beyond. Eventually leaving her scorched and empty of all that was meaningful. So, her desert wasn't as pretty as others.

"Singnie..."

Alarmingly, gasped Dami as she witnessed her first love collapsing.

Siyeon whimpered, hugging the floor. She couldn't breathe. Her vision blurred, she swore she saw stars, but not the kind, pretty ones she loved when stargazing with Yubin. No. These stars frightened her. They threatened to come closer and closer until she was nothing more than ash.

Oh, the misery.

"Baby..." Yubin dropped down in a flash hovering over her struggling lover, knowing well what usually helped. "I'm here." She placed her hands on top of Siyeon's jittering, cold ones, sliding softly over her arms and trying to create a form of comfort.