𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗆𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗌 ʳᵉᵈᵈⁱᵉ

2.

I was in my house. Normal. I look around. This is how the dream always started. In my house.

I look around. A yellow sticky note hangs on the fridge. I go over to read it my legs carrying me.

A note. From my mom.

Dear Eddie Bear, sorry I have to do this but Im leaving. Honestly Im not that sad. It's an embarrassment to have a "girly" boy. Take your pills.
-momma

What? Why? I shake the tears in my eyes and make my way up to my room. Maybe if I try and sleep in the dream i'll wake up.

I make my way up to my room. A knock sounds on my window. My eyes flicker over to see Richie.

"Let me in." he mouthed. I opened the window and he climbed in.

"Eddie we need to talk." I raise an eyebrow. "We can't be friends anymore."

My throat starts to close. I try reaching for my inhaler but Richie snatches it away. He waves his finger. "Fags like you don't deserve to have extra help."

"W-wait why, what?" I was shocked. I could feel my throat start to tighten and my breaths were coming in raspy short bursts of air.

"People at school talk and no one wants to be friends with a girly boy. I mean could you dress any gayer?" He laughs.

I couldn't breathe. Shaky sobs try and escape.

I wake up in my bed. Im drenched in sweat and fresh salty tears run down my cheeks. It wasn't real. It never is.

The words still hurt though. Fag. Girly boy. I was called these at school but by random people.

Not Richie Tozier.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table.

6:30

Shit he was going to be late. I jumped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom.

I turned on the light and looked in the mirror. I winced at what I saw. My face was red and puffed and my eyes were bloodshot.

I was almost always like this waking up. I wash my face and take my pills. I walk to my room.

"Girly boy." The voice repeated in my head. I look to the dark side of my closet. I pick out a dark blue nike sweatshirt and grey sweatpants.

Was this what other boys wore? Could I fit in? No you cant.

I walk downstairs to see my mom making breakfast. She turns around. "Hi Eddie bear. Care for some pancakes?"

I look down at the food and immediately feel as though Im going to vomit. "No thank you mommy." Her face twist into a concerned look.

"Eddie bear are you sick?" I know whats happening and need to get out before my mom keeps asking questions. "No mommy Im fine, Im going to be late."

I rush out the door and grab my bag. I sigh and start walking to school.

"Oh Eddieee." I turn around and see Richie running towards me. He looks me in the eyes and let out a sharp gasp.

"Could you not sleep because of me and Ms Kaspbrak? Sorrrry." The dark haired boy said ruffling my hair.

If only he knew he was 110% correct.

"Well Eds how about we ditch this unclassy place and hang out." I roll my eyes. "And where the hell would we go?"

"The clubhouse of course."

We made our way to the so called "clubhouse". In my opinion I would say that it's an underground death trap.

"Hereeee." Richie says opening the trap. We climb down. "Now what?" I ask. He shrugs. "You look tired." The dark haired boy commented.

I shrugged. "It's nothing." Richie got into the hammock and patted next to him. I rolled my eyes and got into the hammock and laid my head on his chest. 

"Do you need me to get up?" I asked suddenly scared of sounding gay. Richie shook his head. "I don't mind."

I nuzzled into him and immediately started to drift off.

What the heck. Why are you like this. People don't do this. You're not normal. Richie didn't even want you there he just felt bad. Poor little Edd-.

"Eds?" My eyes whip open and I struggle to take a gasp of air. Tears run down my cheeks.

"In-hale-r" I managed to gasp. Richie dug around in his pocket. He always carries an extra just in case.

Richie places the inhaler on my lips and presses the button. Cold air pushed through my lungs.

Richie wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me down against him. "Don't talk right now take deep breaths."

I do as he told me and started taking deep breaths. I wipe my tears hoping he wasn't focusing on that.

I looked up to feel him gently rubbing my back. Helping my airways return to normal.

I cant help it anymore and wrap both arms around him and pull him close. "Thanks Rich." The dark haired boy nods and smiles.

"Always Eds."

Richie looks up, I do the same and see the sky turning a pink orange color. "We should go its almost dark." I say untangling us and getting up.

He does the same. "Need me to stay over?" The question rung in my mind for a couple seconds before I answered.

"No it's okay." I didnt need to sound helpless. I wasn't me anymore. I needed to fit in.

Richie gives me a concerned look. "It's honestly okay Eddie, I don't mind." The dark haired boy replied.

I shake my head and just start walking out. "See you tomorrow." I call back.

I walk back to the school grabbing my bike and walking home. My mom was definitely going to flip out when she saw me coming home late.

I walked into the front door only to be grabbed in a big hug. "Oh Eddie Bear I was so worried."

"Ma its only 5:15." I mumbled trying to get out of her grasp.

"Nonsense I need you home right when school ends you know this." Tears prickle in her big eyes.

"Yes momma, Im going to head up to my room now." I quickly writhe out of her grasp and make my way up the stairs.

I get up to my room and lock the door. I flop down on my bed.

Today sucked.

(1069 words)