Surprise Valor

Chapter 3

As I waited to get the DNA test results, I tried to keep myself busy by trying to have everything I needed for the girls. Still, it was hard since I didn't have all the information or the confirmation that they were mine; however, after the conversation with Ms. Schmidt, there was hope inside that I had forgotten was there—the hope for a family of my own.

When I acknowledged this hope, I realized that my relationship with Alex was at an end. This brought home just how different my plans varied from Alex's. The girls would not be brought into a hostile or tense environment.

I was startled out of my thoughts by the ringing of my cell phone. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Ms. Schmidt's office number. The time was finally here to find out if I was a dad or not.

"Hello."

"Good morning, Mr. Lawson. I was hoping you could come to my office as soon as you can get here. We have a lot to discuss."

"Can't you just tell me whatever it is over the phone?"

"Well, there are procedures in place that need to be followed and there is paperwork that needs to be filled out to be filed as quickly as possible."

"Ok, I can be there in about 20 minutes."

"That's fine. I will let the receptionist know you are coming and bring you back to my office."

"Alright. I will see you then."

I hung up and just sat there not knowing what to think because I didn't want to get my hopes up. However, going by what she didn't say I figured I was now a father of twin girls. I fought the anger at not being told about them by their mother and for what they had lived through in their short life.

***

My stomach was in knots. Normally when you become a parent you are there through the pregnancy or at least have months to prepare. I have only had days to come to terms with something I never thought would happen to me. I was a dad and had no idea what I was getting myself in for. I stood outside the Children and Family Services building for several minutes as I prepared myself for what was about to happen. I took one final deep breath, wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans, and then reached for the door handle.

The same receptionist from the other day sat behind the desk. She looked up as I walked in and smiled at me. "Good morning, Mr. Lawson. Ms. Schmidt is in her office. Would you please follow me?" She led back through the maze of cubicles that made up their office space for their caseworkers. It was at that moment I realized that Ms. Schmidt was more than a caseworker. I looked at her name plate on her door and saw that she was the Deputy Director. The fact that it was the Deputy Director who had contacted me made me realize how bad things had gone for these 2 little girls.

"Good morning, Mr. Lawson."

"Good morning, Ms. Schmidt." I wanted to get the answer to my questions, the main one being if the girls were mine or not.

"Alright, Mr. Lawson, I'm sure you're anxious for the results of the paternity test that we did. Well, I won't hold you in suspense, you are their biological father. Right now, we need to determine if your custody is in the twins' best interest. Now, I'm going to be honest with you. We have contacted the Children's Services for your area and had them speak with your superiors while we did a background check on you. The girls should go into a nice normal family, they need stability, and with you being single and, in the military, I'm not sure you can provide that. However, we must try to place them with biological family members first and unfortunately, that is only you."

"Ms. Schmidt, let me stop you there. I may have no biological or blood family, but I do have a family. I have already spoken with who the girls would stay with if I got deployed again. However, at this point, there is no talk of deployment. Let me guess, by normal you mean one with a mom and dad?"

I couldn't believe what she was insinuating. My sexuality would be the only thing that someone would consider as not normal. I am who I am, and I make no apologies for it. I knew with this being Virginia that my sexuality would come into play, but I was not about to let anyone get in the way of building a life with the girls I recently found out about and were just confirmed as mine.

"Mr. Lawson, please see it from our side. The girls are used to having a mom and to suddenly not have one, plus going to live with a stranger can be very traumatizing for them."

"Ms. Schmidt, whether they come with me or go to a foster family they will be going with strangers."

"Yes, but they are starting to settle in with the foster family they are with now..."

"Ms. Schmidt, thank you for letting me know about my daughters. Let's get the paperwork done because when I return to California I will take them with me. They are my blood. You sought me out regarding them. You have done your job, now give me what I need to sign and give me the information on where I can go get them. I already have car seats for them in my rental car.

"Mr. Lawson, just to be clear I have no issue with your sexuality. However, with everything these girls have been through you must understand the need for caution?"

"I do understand the need for caution. However, there is a need for caution and then there is trying to find a way to not give me my daughters. What legal grounds do you have to keep me from my daughters? Absolutely none."

"There are regulations that must be followed, especially if the children will be going out of state."

"Ok, so why didn't we go over all of that information while waiting for the test results to come back?"

"I didn't want to overwhelm you unnecessarily. I didn't want to get your hopes up and then turn around to tell you that they aren't yours."

"Just looking at those girls I had no doubt they're mine. So, let's get this paperwork done, and while we're doing that the foster parents can bring the girls here so that when we are done the girls and I can leave to get started knowing each other."

Ms. Schmidt sat there looking at me for what seemed like forever before she grabbed the folder on her desk and handed it to me.

"This is all the paperwork that you need to fill out to take custody of the twins. I have already contacted the Family Services department in Miramar to set up a home study after you get back to California. Now I understand that you live with your squad. Have you planned to find appropriate housing when you get back?"

"I've put in a call to the base housing. They are locating appropriate housing for us of what is available. I just need to let them know for sure that I will need it."

"I appreciate that you have been proactive in this. I know I came off as harsh, but these girls have been through so much and I just want to make sure that they will be taken care of and cared for."

"I can understand that, but you need to be careful how you come across, especially when it comes to those who don't fit your 'normal' criteria. For me, you came very close to letting bias come through and dictate the outcome of this case."

"I'm sorry for that. I don't have an issue with those who are gay, but I know some of my caseworkers who do have hangups about it. That doesn't make it right and we are doing what we can to stamp it out here in the office."

Silence followed as we got started on the folder full of paperwork.

***

After what seemed like hours, we finally finished filling out all the paperwork so I could take the girls home with me. I had just signed the last page when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Ms. Schmidt called out.

"Ms. Schmidt, the Johnsons are here with Chloe and Julie."

"Thank you, Rita. Please show them to the playroom for now. We'll be right there."

"Yes, ma'am." There was a soft click as the door was closed behind her.