The Reluctant Bride

Part 19: Viv

A/N: Strap in boys, it is a long one!

Vivian was a strong woman. People had called her that a lot throughout her life. When she joined the boys football team because there wasn't a girls team, she had been praised for how strong she was in her convictions and her ability to get what she wanted. In reality the boys team had been terrifying and she was never really a part of the team, they all called her a freak. But she had to keep going because she didn't want to let people down.

When her mom got sick people called her strong, she was such a good daughter. She was 15 and could barely drive but she had to, her mom needed treatment. So she made it work and again people called her strong but she was once again terrified. She was scared that her mom was dying, but no one really talked to her about that, it always ended up being about how good of a daughter she was for helping out.

At 18 Vivian moved away for school, she needed to get out of the house. Her mom made it and things were kind of normal. Except that nothing was normal. When a child has to care for their parents in that way for a long amount of time it's hard to go back. When you cook for them, clean for them, help them on the toilet, bathe them... The dynamic changes. It was not bad, just different and Viv wanted a new start. A new home where she didn't have to look at the same ceiling that she looked up at every night praying for her mother to live. So she moved, and once again people described her as a strong young woman.

This kept being a thing in Vivian's life, hardship found her and she fought through it. She was strong after all, she could handle it. Then she fell in love, and although still strong, she didn't need to be, she met someone who could be strong for her. It was great, until it wasn't. They decided to have a child, Jamie, and things were ok for a while then they got worse. Viv's partner was controlling, she was borderline abusive. She knew that she would have to leave, but for the first time in her life, she wasn't strong enough. Unfortunately another consequence from being a strong woman is that people don't really see or think that you might need help. Viv was stuck in a relationship where her partner didn't let her have her own social media or computer for that matter because she wanted total transparency. Transparency was the word she used, what she really wanted was control and boy did she have it. So there she was, stuck with a woman who made her world so small and a child she would not leave without.

Jamie was the best thing to ever happen to Vivian. He was perfect in every way. Kind, smart, caring. Vivian decided early on that he would never have to be strong in the way she had, he would get to be a kid for longer, he wouldn't have to be afraid, he would be taught to ask for as much help he wanted and needed. He was everything Vivian liked about herself, and so much more. Things got bad, really bad. Her partner would not let her leave the house, she was not allowed to drop Jamie at nursery and that was when she knew. It was over. She had to be strong again, she would not let Jamie grow up thinking that this is ok. She found courage and strength in her little boy and made it out. Her partner was deemed unfit for full custody because of her work so Viv got to have him most of the time, only letting her see him every other weekend.

Vivian moved far far away from where she came. Another new start was just what she wanted. She was outgoing and people had an easy time talking to her so she almost took it as a challenge to start over, to find new friends, a new job, new routines. The work situation was easy to fix, she was a nurse and jobs were not hard to find, she actually found a position she really wanted. She worked in the emergency room and the action fitted her like a glove. Jamie got into a great nursery, she even liked the staff and he loved them. There were nice parents around, she met a man called Steven, he was in a same-sex relationship and it felt comforting not being the only gay person around.

Then Vivian met Siobhan and she knew that she might be just like her if that made sense. She was cold and distant and a part of Vivian wondered if this might have been the kind of person she would have been if things didn't play out the way they did. She also noticed the signs of abuse really quickly, she couldn't be sure but she was sure as hell not just gonna leave her be. Things were both really simple and really hard when it came to Siobhan. She felt as if every word came out wrong, but Siobhan wanted to stick around it seemed. She accidentally insulted her, on multiple occasions but things worked out and she actually gave her her number.