There’s something odd that bothers Seungmin, even though he tries not to think about it too hard—or at all, if possible. But no matter how much he tells himself to stop overanalyzing every little thing, his brain is still running a million miles an hour. Seungmin was overthinking again. His friends told him that Minho is cheating on him with someone new, and the thought has been nagging at Seungmin for weeks now.
He wanted to confront the older but the timing really is wrong. It’s the perfect chance and Seungmin knows he should seize it before Minho gets any ideas of leaving or trying to end things between them, but he can't seem to find a way to do it.
Seungmin doesn’t want to believe that his own boyfriend cheats on him. But then again, who would ever cheat on him? The guy is so kind and sweet that Seungmin can hardly imagine him having anyone else but Seungmin. They are both pretty popular, they know exactly what they want, they make sure everyone knows how good they are together…
It only changed when Minho stopped taking him out on a dates, spend time with him, or try to even avoid him due to work. He’s become distant, withdrawn, reserved, and Seungmin isn’t stupid; he knows he did something wrong. And now it’s eating Seungmin up inside. The older never says anything to Seungmin directly, either. He always does what makes Seungmin happy but it feels like it was forced. Seungmin has tried everything possible to get back the attention of his boyfriend—his very attractive, amazing boyfriend, but nothing worked. There’s only one thing left to do. Seungmin needs to confront the older himself. Maybe then he could fix their relationship once and for all, maybe it will go back to normal, or better yet; it will get better. Seungmin just needs to find the right time.
*****
It’s almost seven o’clock and Seungmin just finished dinner in front of his flat TV when there’s a loud knock coming from his front door. Seungmin frowns as he opens it, wondering who could be knocking this early after the last time was around six o’clock in the evening. But he recognizes Minho’s face, pale skin and dark hair contrasting against his white shirt and black jeans. Seungmin can see the anxiety written all over his boyfriend’s expression, too, but the younger can’t read him well enough for him to be able to understand what’s going through the elder’s head. Seungmin takes a few steps forward and wraps his arms tightly around his boyfriend’s waist. Minho stiffens up at first but soon relaxes. “Hey, love, come in,” Seungmin says quietly, leading him through the living room and into the sofa. When he pulls away, Seungmin notices that Minho is trembling slightly. “Did you have a rough day?” Seungmin asks tentatively, sitting down next to his lover and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Minho leans into him briefly before pulling away and shaking his head. “No, nothing like that. It was just pretty cold outside..and I came here to talk to you with something important..” He trails off. ‘Important, huh?’ Seungmin wonders, raising an eyebrow and looking at Minho intently. But the older keeps his eyes on Seungmin and his gaze is unwavering, like the words he’d said don’t matter anymore, and neither does this discussion. “Um..Seungminnie..” Minho finally whispers, voice cracking halfway through. Seungmin feels a lump rising in his throat and he wants to pull the other into a hug, but he refrains himself. The conversation sounds serious and it can’t help but make Seungmin anxious, so it’s best to just let Minho tell him what he needs to say. If it’s bad news, Seungmin will listen, won’t he? The older sighs. “Okay, look, Seungminie…this might sound kinda sudden but I...” he stammers a bit as he reaches up and tucks some loose hairs behind Seungmin’s ear, fingers gently caressing Seungmin’s cheek. Seungmin bites his lip to suppress the urge to lean into the touch, but it doesn’t seem to have done much because Minho continues speaking anyway. “Let’s break up..I don’t wanna continue this anymore..” Seungmin’s heart sinks. How come the thought of Minho ending things didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would?
Seungmin looks away, not willing to meet Minho’s piercing stare. “You don’t want to continue it anymore…?” Seungmin mumbles, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He clears his throat before continuing. “Why?”
Minho takes a deep breath. “I…love you, Seungminnie, but we aren’t working as well together as we used to…so..” he pauses. “It’s best…for us to part ways now, right?”
Seungmin closes his eyes shut, tears welling up in his eyes and threatening to spill over. He tries not to show how hurt he feels, how devastated he feels. “Tell me the truth Minho..and please—please don’t ever lie to me again. My friends..my friends told me that you were cheating on me and that’s why you were so distant—so tell me now..did you or did you not cheat on me?” Seungmin asks as calmly as he can, not wanting to raise his voice. He doesn’t need any further proof. He already knows the answer. Still. To be truthful to himself, he needs Minho to confirm the suspicion he had in his mind since then.
Minho takes another deep breath. “I….yes. I cheated,” the older replies, and Seungmin doesn’t hide his flinch. “I’m sorry, I am so sorry. I really am—“ Minho tried to explain but before he could continue he felt a hard slap against his cheek. He winces but continues, hoping to calm down his lover’s temper somehow. “Seungmin, baby, please. Hear me out—“
“Don’t call me baby, you bastard,” Seungmin interrupts, angry tears streaming down his face. “For fuck’s sake Minho stop! We’ve been together for 8 years and this is what you’ll fucking do to me!! To CHEAT ON ME?!”
“Seungmin, please--“
“NO YOU FUCKING HURT ME!!! You broke my heart and you ruined everything. Why wouldn’t you even talk to me?! You promised me we were going to last forever and you just fucking broke your word. What gives you the right?? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I gave you everything—EVERYTHING Minho—“
“But Seungmin, baby please hear me out--“ Minho tried to plead but Seungmin interrupted again, furious. “Don’t baby me. I know what you are…what you are capable of. I hate you. Get out!!” Seungmin spat out. Minho’s expression falls as he stares at the floor with tears pooling in his eyes. His face is red and his eyes are puffy from crying, and he tries to speak but he chokes back a sob before he finally manages to choke out “Seungmin, please…”
“NO!!” The older is startled by his outburst and backs away slightly. “Get out!!” Seungmin cries furiously. “Just…just leave…I don’t even know why I even bothered trying to date you! Go ahead!! Fuck you!!” Minho shakes his head and turns around slowly, walking towards the door and exiting the apartment. As soon as he hears the door close, Seungmin collapses onto the floor and curls into a ball, sobbing his heart out as he cries for everything that has gone wrong in the past nine months. All of a sudden, his phone rings. He picks it up and sees who’s calling and immediately presses ignore without even looking at the caller ID.
He doesn’t want to deal with anyone right now. Especially if they try to talk to him. After all, who would want to waste their precious time talking to someone like him? Who would even bother to do that? A person like him who can’t even take care of himself properly…and what’s worse…a person like him who couldn’t even put his feelings into words. Seungmin huffs, closing his eyes and wiping his tears with the back of his hand. He hears his apartment door creak open once again, but he pays no attention to it. Instead, he buries his face between his hands, hiding his face from the world, refusing to accept reality. A minute later, however, he heard footsteps approaching the couch, making Seungmin lift his head up slowly, sniffling. It was his best friend Jeongin. Seungmin had known Jeongin his whole life, so naturally they grew quite close when they started high school. Jeongin kneels down next to him and lays a hand softly on Seungmin’s shoulder. “What happened, Seungminnie?”
****
Seungmin stays silent for a moment, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to feel anything. He doesn’t want to cry. He doesn’t want to feel anything. He doesn’t care. He shrugs Jeongin’s hand off his shoulder and wipes his face quickly before standing up abruptly. “Nothing Jeonginnie..I’m fine. Just tired. Go home.” He mutters, starting to walk towards his room.
“Wait!” Jeongin calls after him. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Tell me. Please.” Jeongin pleads quietly.
Seungmin stops and hesitates, turning his head and looking at the floor again. He purses his lips, swallowing thickly before finally replying, “Minho and I broke up...he admitted the truth..” Seungmin mumbles, avoiding eye contact and trying not to show how much he’s struggling to keep his emotions in check.
Jeongin frowns. “...Oh.”
Seungmin chuckles dryly. “Yeah…”
Silence falls upon the couple for the rest of the night as both boys attempt to process everything that happened during dinner. Neither of them dare bring up the incident again, too afraid that they might trigger something in each other that might make things worse. In an effort to avoid any more awkwardness, Jeongin decides to go home early and leaves Seungmin alone in the living room. Seungmin sits there for a while, staring blankly at the wall in front of him, thinking about nothing in particular. He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there. His eyes were heavy and all puffy from crying. Everything is becoming too much. So, he decided he will sleep it off on his bed instead of sleeping on the couch, not caring that he’s gonna catch a cold because he knows his heater isn’t working properly yet. He stands up and walks upstairs, taking off his jacket and shirt. He lays on his bed. He doesn’t bother changing into something comfier as he pulls his pillow under his head and snuggles deeper into the blankets. He’s exhausted. He wants to sleep. But everytime he closes his eyes, he sees Minho’s face, smiling gently at him. Then the image suddenly changes to one where Minho is kissing him softly and holding onto him tightly, whispering sweet nothings into Seungmin’s ear.
And then it’s all gone. Every single thing is gone, and Seungmin finds himself crying again because he still hasn’t fallen asleep and that only seems to happen when he starts remembering that the man he loved the most is actually cheating on him.
