All Our Sensitivity

chapter twenty-four - again?

While Nate loved supporting Ava and Bryce during their soccer tournament, every moment he spent not directly listening to what was happening, he thought about Theodore. He kept placing himself back in the moment—back in the experience of them kissing and holding each other. It was so beyond unbelievable that he had to actively try to convince himself that it was real and that it did happen. He didn't have many opportunities to text Theodore a whole lot, which was probably for the best. He needed to think and process things through on his own time. Nate had always been that way, whether it was with something good or bad. The matter at hand was something good; it was too good for Nate to even comprehend.

The day had been filled with a lot of kids screaming, snacks, and naps, beside the Theodore-filled thoughts. Nate had decided that he wouldn't tell anyone about what had happened. Part of him wanted to share it with his friends—and maybe parents—but mostly he liked the feeling of it being secretive. He liked knowing that only him and Theodore were a part of it; if other people knew, they would be a part of it too by proxy. It wasn't that it was an inherently bad thing, but for now, it made him feel like he was on ecstasy.

The sad reality was that the Thompson family did not arrive home till 10pm. Normally that wouldn't be a problem for Nate and Theodore, but Nate was beyond tired, and the twins insisted their brother stay and have a sleepover. Nate figured that it would be best for him to not only spend time with his family, but also wait to see Theodore until he was in the right headspace to think properly.

It was really hard to not say anything to anyone about the kiss. Even though it had only been a little over 24 hours, he felt the words about to burst out of his mouth as if he had been hiding it for months. Zivia had called him the morning after the soccer tournament, and it took everything in him to not spill out. Luckily, she talked about her own life, which Nate silently thanked. He listened as she rambled on about the girl she was talking with and how she drove Zi crazy. It was a nice distraction from his own, very foreign, very sudden, yet very amazing, romantic life. When the time was right, he knew Zi would be the first person he'd tell.

Theodore did not hesitate to ask Nate if he was free. Luckily, he was understanding when Nate cancelled, but Nate couldn't help but feel a little bit bad about it. Theodore quickly proved that all would be fixed whenever they could see each other next. Nate, despite his still lingering fatigue, knew he had to see Theodore.

As he got ready, he was just as nervous as when they first met. It felt like he was around a whole new version of Theodore; Nate was a whole new version of himself too. They liked each other. They held each other. They laughed in-between kisses. They touched each other's face and hair. They exclaimed how the other person made them feel. They liked each other.

Nate felt the pressure weigh down upon him as he tried to figure out what to wear. He settled on his usual combo of sweater-jeans-raincoat-Docs since the weather was still rainy and cold. Playing with Luna distracted his mind, but the feeling of buzzing inside his body failed to die down. His dad had insisted on driving him on his way to getting groceries, and Nate agreed. He was thankful his dad offered; the thought of Theodore picking him up was too much to handle. Nate had also failed to spend time with his much time with his dad, since they had opposing work and school schedules. It didn't help that Theodore had taken up a good chunk of his life. His parents did not mind one bit, but he felt bad that he had been absent. They meant everything to him.

"How's school going?" Jackson asked as they drove through the familiar streets of their neighborhood.

Nate tapped his fingers to a The Pixies song that his dad was playing quietly in the background. "It's going good; my course load hasn't actually been that bad this term. Finals are soon, but they shouldn't be too difficult."