WHERE HE REMAINS

4

The sharp buzz of my phone cut through the haze of sleep, vibrating somewhere near my ear and drilling into my skull. I pried my eyes open just enough to squint at the screen, fully expecting the shrill alarm I’d set for 6:30 AM. But instead, it was my mother calling at 7:10 AM. She never missed her morning check-in, a ritual as reliable as the sunrise, right before I rushed off to class. The realization jolted me awake—I had barely twenty minutes before class began, and I needed to get myself together, fast. In a hurry, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and skipped my bath since I didn't have enough time to deal with soap and shampoo. I put on my uniform, which always made me feel uncomfortable, turned off the lights and fans, locked the door with a bang—startling the guy living next to my room who looked out to see what was wrong—and rushed out of my dormitory. On my way to my institute, which was only a ten-minute walk, I sped up, aiming to reach it in five minutes so I could grab the most comfortable seat in the corner. I sat with the wall on my left and a random student on my right—someone I could get to know if I tried, but most of the time I chose to keep to myself and mind my own business.

Time kept passing by, and so did the classes. I couldn’t concentrate during lectures with all my potential, so I had to scrutinize everything being written on the board, mustering up all of my focusing power. If only I hadn’t spent my time talking to people on Grindr late last night, I wouldn’t have had to start my day in a hurry and struggle to keep my eyes open during the lectures. Sometimes, in the midst of trying to grasp everything written on the board and hurriedly copying it into my notebook, my mind would drift. Thoughts of the chat I had with Rahul last night crept in, and I found myself wondering what we would even talk about when he phoned me this evening. Part of me regretted sharing my contact number, but I reassured myself that he wasn’t the type to have ulterior motives. Despite my doubts, I couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of optimism about this.

As the bell rang for departure, I felt a sudden urge to clear my lingering doubts in zoology. Ignoring the tide of students flowing out of the institute, I hurried towards the teacher’s cabin, a sense of urgency driving my steps. "That's strange," I mused, noticing the sparse number of students gathered there. It was unusual for the zoology teacher's cabin to be so empty, especially since it often buzzed with activity for reasons that were never quite academic.

Most of the girls would swarm his cabin, eager for a closer look at his striking features—his captivating eyes, the perfectly sculpted nose, and that mesmerizing voice that could hold anyone's attention. He was, in every sense, perfection. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done the same before, visiting his cabin under the pretense of needing help, just to admire him up close and breathe in the intoxicating scent of his cologne that lingered in the air.
   Once I had finished both clearing my doubts and subtly admiring every detail of his physique—though I kept my gaze firmly above the abdomen—I reluctantly made my way out of the institute. The afternoon sun greeted me harshly, its rays hitting one side of my face like a sharp slap. As I ambled towards my dormitory, the warmth of the day pressing down on me, I suddenly remembered that I needed to call my mother. With a sigh, I pulled out my phone and dialed her number.

"Hello, Mum," I said, navigating through the sea of blaring horns, finally finding a quieter path.

"Bubba, why didn't you pick up this morning? I was worried, you know," her voice, both calm and firm, had that familiar way of melting my defenses. No matter how chaotic things got, hearing my mother's voice always brought me a sense of peace.

"Uh— I... I woke up late," I stammered, trying to sound nonchalant, "I was in a rush and completely forgot to call back."

"Oh, son..." There was a softness now, a subtle hint of concern. "Are you sure you're okay? You know you can always come home for a bit if you need to."