Anastasia

6 Gray

(TW MENTIONS OF SUICIDE)

The Police : Every breath you take
"I'll be watchin' you"

May 19 2024

The moment I first saw her file I honestly thought she would be a little pick me girl who couldn't defend herself. At least I think so? I heard my sister say that before.  I don't really know what that means otherwise.

In other words I thought she would just be a wannabe and be annoying and can't do shit for herself. That sounds more familiar than whatever a "pick me" is.

So I just tried my hardest to avoid her. I was planning on doing what ever I could to get the fragile little girl off of my team. But boy was I wrong. Really wrong.

She walked into the room on her first day with confidence. I could tell even through the security cameras in my office after I left. Not only that but I have to admit, she was gorgeous.

Like, drop dead gorgeous.

I got the file just a day before she came so I couldn't look through it. I was really busy signing a bunch of stupid papers so that we can get more amo or some shit. I honestly don't know what I signed up for anymore.

But that night after she left, the whole team and I looked through her file and to say I was shocked was an understatement. Not that I would tell anyone that though.

She had a lot of experience with the army. It says she served for 5 years. That's a lot of time to see something bad. Or multiple bad things, who knows. For all I know she could be traumatized. I wouldn't be surprised. But she's probably got the trauma under wraps or else she wouldn't have been hired.

You see, the only reason she's here is because I was forced to accept her. No other team wanted a girl. Saying that she would just hold them back, or weigh them down and make them look bad. So they stuck her with me.

And to say I was mad was an understatement. I work twice as hard than all the other teams. And I get the last pick of the litter? No. Hell no. I should get the first pick. If anything I deserve it the most.

But to be fair. She doesn't seem that bad. If anything, she would be really strong. 

Not just mentally but physically too. It takes a lot to be in the army. Not that I would know but I've heard. And it takes a lot for this job too. It hurts to see all these women and children and on the rare occasions there is a young boy there, we save, so hurt and afraid.

So much so, we have to keep our distance. A lot of the time I call back to the responding officers to see how the girls are because they talk to the family's afterwards for a long time. But this one call, wasn't very good.

The officer told me that a young teenage girl, only 14, overdosed on some anti depression pills and some antibiotics because it was too much for her.

That might have been one of the last times I cried.

I've heard story's about the army from my friends and all of them are bad. I've even had one of my friends from high school commit suicide because he couldn't take the nightmares anymore. And I googled it about 19.9% of people commit suicide after leaving the military.

But back on the topic before,

I made the decision that whenever someone new joins the team. The people who were already on the team get to look at their file. Just to see if they are worth it and to see their strengths and what they excel in. It's good for everyone to know.

We also need to know who we're taking. After all we won't just take anyone. They need to be qualified to work here. To keep the team and themselves safe.