Night Alpha

30 - Bruise Blue

So hmm. Work, health, all that. Halfway mark, but I'm not stopping. 

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We're back in the car before I even know it. The wind gently blows away the ill feeling from both the queen and her mate. I have a feeling it's not brainwash, but that Grant really thinks humans are inferior to wolves. That as the lesser being we should submit. That as a human mate I should submit to Milo.

When the fever like state leaves and my mind isn't as clouded anymore, I turn to Milo. He's peacefully driving, the wind gently ruffles his short hair. His eyes are calm but there's tension in his jaw I can't explain. Milo's lips waver just enough for me to realize he's trying to hide a smile. I think I watch his features out of affection, not the weird ill attraction.

And I feel his thumb run over my knuckles. I almost break my neck when I look down to our intertwined hands. When did that happen? But his smile turns smug and I rip my hand from his, and knowing his strength, Milo allows it. I feel my cheeks heat and turn to the window instead.

He lets out a weird strangled noise and with my gaze on the horizon, I catch his heated stare in the outside rear-view mirror. Milo looks away when I frown, cheeks reddening. He got what he wanted. And even though I believe him to be more accommodating than others, I can't help but wonder if it was his intention when he brought me to Grant.

With a bitter taste of betrayal on my tongue I try to avoid his stare. Was his objective for me to listen to Grant ? Should I? My stomach churns when I remember the man's venomous words, full of hatred and hidden malicious intent. Despite it all, it's reassuring to find another human, even with painful looking looming bites on his throat and neck. I wonder if it's done out of love, possessiveness or dominance.

I freeze when I feel warmth take over my thigh, carefully look down to see Milo's hand has snaked atop my leg, close to my waist. But his palm is up, fingers gently spread for mine to slip in. It's inviting like a lullaby, but I use a hand to push his away anyway. I had enough of manipulation for today. Even f it's seduction, even if it's Milo, innocent and comforting.

« Did you know this would happen ? About Grant ? » I spit the words out with more venom than I intend but I shiver with disgust when I remember. And I can't shake off the feeling of betrayal, of distrust when we've come so far. I swallow with a painful throat when he doesn't answer immediately.

No when I look back at him, Milo has put back his right hand lazily over the wheel and his left rests over the open window. I can hear the light taping of his fingers over the metal of the car, see his focused gaze over the dirt road. I see his lips pinched together and my face scrunches with sorrow. His fingers leave the old metal to scratch at his brow, to wipe his mouth.

« Yes. » It's as simple as a hum, as light as a single truth. I jerk my had to the window, but this time not has a protest. My mouth fills with saliva and my eyes string with white hot anguish. I feel like jumping out of the car, my vision blurs but it's not the tears, it's grey fog that fills up my brain. I lean outside when the first sobs pushes past my lips. Two steps back.

Despite it all I feel grateful when Milo doesn't reach out. The car continues its path at the same speed and his hand doesn't to lay on my leg. I push a hand to my lips to silence the cries but I know he hears them anyway. I force myself to breathe in and out when a violent shake threatens to forcefully make me throw up.

Once again my heart is balanced on his palm and I don't understand why. He's become my lifeline yet he kills me every other day. My tongue swells with nausea and I close my eyes to try and settle my nerves. I breathe in through my nose and try to picture home but a first gag sip by my palm.