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It wasn't supposed to be, he thinks. Maybe he should be thankful he didn't tell her anything when she was leaving.
Or maybe he should have. If he had, maybe then he'd not spend his days and nights thinking about her, writing about her and still hoping, he'll get to see her smile one more time.
Yoongi sighs shakily, it has been almost four years and he can't believe he's stuck on something like this.
She should've been a simple crush, fading away with time. Although first crush in his whole life because Yoongi believed he never had time for romance, he was all about his music back then.
Even now.
But he didn't expect her to remain as specks in his life, even after leaving. He can still faintly smell her on the hoodie she gifted him even though its not possible.
He just wishes he could hug her again, he wishes he could....he could only wish. He gulps softly, averting his gaze back to his phone screen to see pictures he recall clicking of her by the beach when they first came to Seoul.
And another picture he had sneakily captured when she wasn't looking when they were hanging out.
The way it hurt watching her leave, it doesn't hurt like that anymore. Or maybe it's just the fact that he got used to the pain.
He hopes she knows he still thinks of her.
He hopes she knows all those songs are about her, he hopes she knows he misses her a lot. A lot.
" hyung? You okay? " He blinks, turning the screen off on instinct and glancing up. Namjoon gives him a knowing look and he sighs.
" I'm fine, Joonie. "
" Jiminie and Tae can be stupid sometimes, don't...focus on their words. "
" I'm fine, really. " Yoongi shakes his head, " Don't worry about it. "
Namjoon nods — although he doesn't buy it — giving him a dimpled smile before taking a seat on the chair, a make up artist is quickly starting her work on his face.
Yoongi is all done, ready for the fan meet. There was no use of hiding it from Namjoon. The leader knew everything and Yoongi recalls telling him about Y/n and him once.
Jin knows too.
Yoongi is embarrassed now that he thinks about it, but he did cry himself to sleep beside Jin once when he was missing her too much. When everything had overwhelmed him so much.
Yoongi knows Namjoon gets too worried about the topic, but Yoongi doesn't see how it would be sensitive. He already thinks of her every minute of every day.
