Puffed

Chapter 19

Remus lay on his back in the hospital wing, staring up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the whirlwind in his mind. Sirius's voice was barely a hum in the background as he recounted every detail of his date with Lucy to James and Peter, who were both eagerly listening. But for Remus, their excited chatter might as well have been miles away.

Lucy had known. Lucy had known he was a werewolf for three years.

He blinked slowly, the weight of that realization pressing down on him like a boulder. All this time, he had been so careful, so guarded, trying to hide his secret from everyone—especially her. Lucy, the quiet, sweet Hufflepuff girl who had only truly entered his world at the start of this year.

Before then, she had been a shadow in the halls, someone he barely noticed except in passing. Just the girl who always sat with Lily, the one with the soft smile and gentle voice. But she had known him in a way that no one else had. She knew the part of him that he hated most, the part of himself he feared revealing. And she hadn't said a word.

It was like discovering that the sun had been shining all this time behind clouds he didn't even know were there.

"Mate, you listening?" Sirius's voice cut through Remus's haze, bringing him back to the present.

He blinked, sitting up from his bed to face the others. Sirius was grinning like an idiot, clearly still buzzing from his night with Lucy, while James and Peter wore matching grins of amusement.

"Sorry," Remus muttered, forcing himself to focus, even though his mind was still tangled up in everything he'd just learned. "What was that?"

Sirius chuckled, running a hand through his hair, his excitement almost palpable. "I was saying, isn't it mad? She's known about me—about all of us—since second year. And she's never said a thing. Didn't think I'd ever meet someone like her."

Remus's heart clenched. Since second year. That meant for three long years, Lucy had been carrying the weight of his secret, and yet she had never treated him any differently. Never looked at him with fear, never acted like he was something dangerous or monstrous. She hadn't run. She hadn't judged.

"Yeah, it's... mad," Remus said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

James raised an eyebrow at him, catching the strain in his tone. "You alright, Moony?"

Remus nodded quickly, forcing a smile he didn't feel. "Fine. Just... tired."

It wasn't exactly a lie. He was exhausted, but it wasn't just from the full moon. It was the weight of what he had learned. The realization that Lucy hadn't feared him—that she had seen him as something other than a monster. And now, just when he knew the truth, it was too late.

Sirius leaned back in his chair, his grin softening into something more sincere. "She's special, you know? Not like the other girls."

Remus's stomach twisted. He knew where this was going, and he didn't want to hear it. Not now.

James smirked, leaning in. "Oh? How special are we talking?"

Sirius's grin widened, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. "I dunno, I just... I think I might be in love with her."

Remus felt like he'd been punched in the gut. His chest tightened painfully, but he kept his face neutral, not letting any of it show. He couldn't. Sirius was his best mate. He couldn't let him see the jealousy bubbling beneath the surface. The anger at himself for waiting too long, for not saying anything sooner.

James clapped Sirius on the back, laughing. "Merlin, Pads. I never thought I'd see the day. Sirius Black, in love."

Peter snickered. "You're smitten."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but his smile didn't fade. "Yeah, yeah, have your laugh. But she's different. She's—she's not like anyone else."

Remus felt the words like a knife twisting in his chest. Of course, she was different. She was everything Sirius said and more. But now she was Sirius's.

James, ever the sharp observer, glanced at Remus again, his brow furrowing slightly. He could sense something was off, but he didn't push it.

Remus had to get out of there. He couldn't listen to this anymore. The more Sirius talked about Lucy, the worse it felt. He stood abruptly, startling the others.

"I'm going for a walk," he muttered, not bothering to look at any of them as he made his way toward the door.

"Moony?" Sirius called after him, confused. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Remus said quickly, though his voice sounded hollow even to him. "I just need some air."

He left the hospital wing, the door closing behind him with a quiet click. The cool corridor was a welcome relief, but it did nothing to ease the storm brewing inside him. His feet carried him aimlessly through the castle, his mind spinning with thoughts he couldn't quiet.

She's known. She's known for years, and she doesn't think I'm a monster.

Remus leaned against a cold stone wall, rubbing his hands over his face. For three years, Lucy had known his secret, and she hadn't run. She hadn't told anyone. She hadn't treated him differently.

Why hadn't he said something? Why hadn't he told her how he felt before it was too late? Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. Maybe Lucy still would've chosen Sirius in the end. But at least Remus wouldn't be left with this gnawing ache in his chest, this awful, sinking feeling that he had missed his chance.

And now, what could he do? Pretend like everything was fine? Watch Sirius and Lucy grow closer, while he stood by and tried to be happy for them? It felt impossible. He had already started falling for her—slowly, quietly, without even realizing it. And now... she was with Sirius.

He clenched his fists, trying to push down the jealousy, the anger. It wasn't Sirius's fault. He didn't know how Remus felt, and he certainly didn't know how much this was eating him alive. But knowing that didn't make it hurt any less.

Taking a deep breath, Remus pushed himself off the wall and started walking again, heading back toward the common room. He couldn't hide from this forever. He'd have to face Sirius and the others eventually. He'd have to learn to live with it.

Because no matter how much it hurt, he couldn't lose his friends over this. Lucy deserved to be happy, and if Sirius made her happy, then Remus would have to swallow his feelings and let it go. Even if it tore him apart inside.

As he walked through the empty corridors, he couldn't help but think about how different things might have been—if he had been braver, if he had told her the truth before now. But it was too late for that now.

And maybe, in time, the ache in his chest would fade. Maybe.