What Could've Been

Chapter 3

Big Trigger Warning for this part 

    I wake up to the delicious aroma of pancakes filling the house. I stretch and walk into the kitchen to see Derrek at the stove. He turns around, and I giggle as I see a small dash of flour on his cheek. Walking up to him, we embrace, and I wipe the flour off.

    "Good morning, babe," I murmur, still sleepy.

    "Good morning, my love. How's little junior doing?" He asks as he rubs my tummy. I still can't believe I'm pregnant with his child, 3 months into our fiancée-ship.

    "He's starving, and desperately needs to be fed," I joke, reaching for some of the finished pancakes.

    "Aht, aht," Darrek tsks, "Go sit and let me fix your plate, love." I happily oblige, sitting at the small island. Darrek brings me a plate stacked high with pancakes, covered in whipped cream, strawberries, and a drizzle of chocolate.

    "Mmmph mmm," I try to mumble out a 'thank you' around a mouthful of food. He fixes a plate for himself and sits next to me. The meal is relatively quiet as I'm too busy scarfing down pancakes to make conversation. We both finish, and I quickly do the dishes. Darrek and I move to the living room, settling together on the couch to watch a movie. A bit into the movie I feel some uncomfortable cramping. I shrug it off for as long as I can, until it gets worse and worse.

    "Darrek, baby, we need to go to the hospital," I say as calmly as possible. He asks why and I explain as I head to the front door. Darrek grabs the keys and we drive to the nearest hospital, at some points definitely breaking the speed limit. Of course as soon as we get to the emergency room, they put us on a wait list.

     Sitting and trying to keep calm, I can't help but squirm as the cramping gets worse and worse. Shivers rack my entire body, partly cold and partly fear. All of a sudden, I feel wet? I look down and see my jeans staining a deep, dark red.

    I scream out for help, and immediately get rushed into the back.

Blood.

Pain.

Agony.

    I stare at the blood clot on the table in front of me.

    "Is . . . is, that?" I stutter out," M,my, my baby?" I dry heave as the nurse by me nods. I cry out soundlessly as Darrek squeezes me tight.

     We go home.

     Days pass. Weeks. A month.

    Countless doctors telling me I'll never have children, the look on Darrek's face every single time. I can't handle it any longer.

     I leave. I left a note, explaining. He deserves someone who can give him children, and, I'm not her.