We Live To See The End

Him

(i really like the song at the top @Bazyinga it isn't a scam dw lol :3)

The guilt was weighing heavily on his shoulders. He shouldn't have reacted in such an over-the-top way. His favourite guitar is broken, none of his friends are talking to him, and Ashton and Alexis hadn't been at school yesterday. Kristoffer sighed, grabbing his bike from the little shed in his back garden and wheeling it through the house. His sisters gave him odd looks as he walked past. His mother and father peered around the doorframe, hearing the clicking of the bike chain going around like a broken metronome.

'Where are you going?' His mother asked, looking rather worried for her son.

'Just to Ashton's house. I'll be home in time for tea, don't worry,' Kristoffer replied, his heart falling further every second. He hopes he can just say sorry to him and make everything okay again. He was off down the street within seconds, not caring for the thin layer of ice covering the roads and the freezing air biting at his face. He wasn't wearing anything warm, but his thoughts seemed to propel him forward into a breakneck pace. He finally arrived at Ashton's house, throwing his bike down at the empty cobbled pavement in front of the little path. His trembling fingers gently pressed the doorbell, warranting an answer within seconds. It isn't Ashton. It's his mother, her blonde hair wrapped in a bun on her head and a warm mug of tea in her tan hands.

'Hi Mrs. Smith, is Ashton in?' He asked, moving his eyes over her thin shoulders. Her body suddenly shook with a sob. Kristoffer looked at her with furrowed brows. She hesitated to answer, trying to clear herself of any negative emotions. When she finally answered, she took in a sharp breath through her teeth.

'He disappeared this morning.'

Kristoffer could only watch with his jaw on the floor as she continued through bleary eyes, 'A few days ago, he seemed off. More quiet than usual. I went to go wake him up before school started, because he wasn't downstairs when he should've been. And... he wasn't in his bed. Nowhere in the house. He left a note on his bed for you. I'm very sorry I didn't deliver it to you, I couldn't bring myself to do it. Let me go get it for you. I didn't read it.'

She rushed off somewhere in the house, leaving Kristoffer with a punch of guilt in his gut. It wasn't like him to do that and leave. He would usually try to talk it out. Not this time. He'd gone too far. So many things he wanted to say, things he wanted to do. It began to eat at him from the inside, escaping through the silent tears trickling down his face. Ashton's mother returned with a folded piece of paper. It had his name written on it with a heart next to it. She placed it into his hands with gentle firmness. She flashed him a crooked, painful smile.

'He loved you very much.'

Dear Kristoffer,

There are so many things I want to say that I really can't put it onto just one piece of A4 paper. I'll be honest; don't try to look for me. I'm leaving forever and I hope you never see me again. Not because I don't want to see you, but because I think it'd be best for you. I haven't committed suicide or anything, because my only way out of this is escaping death rather than falling into its leering arms. Don't try to ask anyone around school, either; they won't know. Alexis came with me. Gia knows about it. She knows where we're going, but she isn't telling anything. I wish we could spend more time with each other. I am a sour person. I hate a lot of things and people. Not you. You're one of the good things in my life. I wish we had more time to just do stupid little things, even if it is totally silent and we aren't talking about anything, just sort of existing together. Because I love you. I love you so, so much. I never say that to anyone. I wish it was verbal this time. I really wish, because I never got that chance ever. I was planning on it. But it isn't a big thing now, because I am gone and I want you to pretend I never existed. We were all born to die, and we will all live to see the end. And in the end, I'm just another person. Forget about me, please.