Can't Think Straight

Beautiful Child

(Lily's POV.)

I pace the living room waiting for the letter from my doctor to see if my body was functioning properly to go through with the artificial insemination.

"Lil, it's 8 in the morning, how long have you been awake?" Sarah says shuffling sleepily into the living room.
"Since 6:30, I'm nervous I just wanna know I can give you a child Sar, i barely slept. I NEED those results!" I finish my sentence as I hear the mail man outside.

"Well you've got em!" Sarah giggles then leaves to get the mail from the mailbox.
"Crap...crap..this is for me...this is for you...junk...for you...for me..and some more crap!" Sarah yells flicking through the letters.

Sarah passes my letters to me and starts opening her own, just rotas for interviews and parts she can audition for. I opened the first of two letters which was my rota, so the second one was my results.

(Play Music Here. Beautiful Child - Fleetwood Mac.)

I un-carefully rip open the letter which reads:

Dear Mrs Lily Paulson,

We have took a look at your tests results and samples which were taken two weeks ago. First of all thank you for cooperating with Dr Rowland and undergoing the tests.

It is with great regret that we inform you, you have a case of Primary Ovary Insufficiency (POI). Your case is a weak one which can still effect your chance at getting pregnant. We do advise you not to go ahead with the artificial insemination, as it could take up to 3-4 or insemination sessions for it to work.

Yet, there is still no guarantee you will gain pregnancy from the insemination. We again, strongly advise that you do not use artificial insemination as your first option. Here are the contact details for one of the adoption agencies we work closely with.

Jessica Moore
JessM2015@adoptionline.co.uk
0100 3200 7633

Dearest apologies, we wish you and your wife the greatest luck in starting your family.

Yours Sincerely,

Rowlands Clinic.

I look at Sarah, my eyes overfilled with tears.
"What is it baby?" Sarah looks at me concerned.
"I-I-I c-can't-" I stop before running off to the bedroom and burying my head in the pillow, tears streaming from my face.

(Sarah's POV.)

I scan my eyes over the paper, reading the information that Lily had just been given. I feel an instant pain in my chest, my love was being kept from having what she wanted more than anything, a beautiful little baby.

I rip the letter into shreds, out of pure anger for breaking my wife's heart. I head to the bedroom where I heard soft cries coming from Lily. I open the door slowly and enter the bedroom.
"Baby, I'm so sorry this couldn't happen." I say rubbing small circles into Lily's back to comfort her.

"I just wanted to start a family, to give you a baby. I'm sorry Sar, I'm sorry I can't give you a child." Lily cries, throwing herself into my arms.
"Hey, hey, stop that! Don't you apologise, and who's to say we have to rule out adoption, or even me having a baby, although when the kid is ten I'll be 50 and I'm not really liking that!" I giggle softly, cradling my wife in my arms.

"I wanted to be able to hand you that bundle of joy Sar, our baby, our pride and joy, what we made out of our love. And now, I can't give you that!" Lily snuffles, burying her head into my shoulder.

"You gave me your love, and that's all I've ever asked for, as long as I have you I don't need you to give me anything to prove your love for me." I speak softly, rocking Lily back and forth, caressing her cheek with my thumb wiping away her tears.