so basicly my mom died three years ago due to drugs and she was my only familky that actualky loved me other then my cousins so now i feel uselss and depresses and basicly i have no dad bc he died before i was born and my gramdma is kinda abusive and womt ket me take my inhaler to school and says (sertain age rank) cant have depression and anxiety and that i dont see or hear things and that im lying one time my uncle tried to commit back like 5 years ago when he lived w me and nana and my other uncle and since he was a young prankster my nana said he was seeking attention and dident call the police but thankfully my ither uncle did oh and like i cut myself for like 5 days straight but ive been clean almost a month now i have suicidal thoughts snd wanna end it all but i cant bc i have my show the one peice to finish and see if they find da one peice i act happy and so joyfull online and irl but im dying on the inside and im scared to ask for therapy bc nana could hear that im trans and all that other stuff and that im in lgbtq and if she figures that out ill get kicked out my house and ill prob die nana blames me for her smoking habit and one time i told my aunt how nana was eude when she smoked but she just laughed and told nana what i said nana gave me a look and marlyn laughed i wanna end my kife i wanna die i wanna see my mom again i wanna end this horrible life my own familly fat shames me and calls me lazy i wish i could tell them how hard my life is but im too scared to do anything i cant even stand up to nana in a simple arguement or im afraid ill get yelled at when ppl are over she acts alll kind but she isent really she blackmails me and guitrips me alot anyway thats all so far that i wish to tell(im bad at spelling and grammer sorry)
