He Changed Things

Chapter 1-bruises

Every day I wake to up and deal with the same things over and over again like there is no escape from my father. I can't stand it, ever since mom died he's had a drinking problem and he's like a whole different person he would have never hit me before she died, she wouldn't have let him either she was strong she wasn't afraid to stand up for herself and the people she loved.
     I made myself get out of bed and walk over to my dresser to pull out a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt. Then I walked down stairs to see my dad passed on the couch like always. This is why we live in this dump because he can't pull himself together to go to work. I grabbed bread and peanut butter out of the cabinet to make my lunch. I remember when mom was the one making my sandwich in the morning she would leave a note on a pink sticky note in the bag that I would read right before I ate my lunch. I hate that I took that for granted. I snapped out of my daze when I heard my second alarm go off on my phone. I'm going to be late I put the sandwich in the bag, grabbed a breakfast bar and my book bag and ran for the door. The moment I opened it I jumped back someone was standing right there. Oh it was just my friend Emma.
     "Gosh you scared me" I said after I realized it was her
     "Yeah silly we need to leave right now to get to school on time" she said with a giggle.
We made it to school and we walked together to our classes I had history. It's my least favorite like why do I need to learn about when ancient people learned to build a spear. Some stuff I think is important but most of that we learn in earlier school years like about George Washington or something. I lay my head down to sleep the whole class it's not like I need the good grades I could never afford to go to collage even if I got the good grades. I used to try really hard and get straight A's but I had to get a job after school so that took away from my study time. The rest of my classes were a blur till I got to lunch. My favorite part of the day I get to sit with my friends and talk.
      "Brooke over here" Emma yelled across the cafeteria.
     "Hey do you work after school I'm off so we could go to Jake's party he's having tonight he said everyone's invited?"
      "No I work but you have to go you can't be cooped up with your dad all night."
     "I have no one to go with it would be boring by myself."
     "Monica is going you can go with her and she could give you a ride."
     Monica is Emma's older sister she's only a year older than us so we hang out a lot. The bell rang for me to go to English. I liked English class we always get to silent read and I get so into it I almost forget about my problems.
     I stood up from the table and said "fine I guess I'll go with Monica since you have this thing called a job."
I walked In and sat at the back of the room, got out my book and waited. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket because I felt it vibrate it was a text from Monica saying she heard I needed someone to go to the party with and that she would give me a ride. The party was at 6 so I would still have time to stop at home and get some dinner. The bell rang and Mr Lewis walked in to start class
"As you all know parent teacher night is tomorrow and anyone in this class that has a C or lower will get a slip saying I require you and your parent to come to talk about your grade and how you could do better this coming semester."
That's bad that's actually very bad. Of course I have a 79 in here. There's no way I could get my dad to come, and even if I could that would be worse. He does not have a good past when it comes to meeting my teachers. One time he flipped over my seventh grade teachers desk because they said he wasn't helping me enough at home. I thought when I got to high school that would end because it's not mandatory for all parents to come. But it's my luck I get a teacher who requires it. It's all I could think about for the rest or the class how could I pay attention to Romeo and Juliet if I have to figure out what I'm going to do. Maybe I can talk to him do sum kind of assignment to raise my grade. I wait till the end of class when he's sitting at his desk to walk up.
"Is there some assignment or something I could do to get my grade up before tomorrow so I don't have to go to parent teacher night?"
     "Even if you raised your grade you would still have to go you have been at a C all semester and there's no reason for it you are smart you just don't like to try and I was hoping to talk to your parent or guardian about that to help you improve"
     "I'll try next semester I promise all do all my work in class and I will make sure I actually do the homework."
     "I'm not changing my mind I'll see you tomorrow and if no parent shows up I might have to make a home visit."
     I walked away not even responding I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about tomorrow. Maybe I should just skip it I mean what could he really do give me lunch detention. Can he even do that come to my house just because my dad won't come to the school. I can't take any chances if he showed up at my house that would be even worse.
     School ended and I walked back home by myself since Emma had work. I made it to the door slowly twisting the handle bracing myself for what was to come. I seen my dad laying on the couch watching tv with a beer in his hand. I walked to the kitchen to start dinner. I grabbed some leftover spaghetti out of the fridge and put it on the stove. Our kitchen and living room connect so I was going to ask him while I looked busy as possible.
     "Hey are you hungry I'm heating up food?" I asked
     "No some guy at the bar gave me the leftover appetizers from the back" he replied
     "Okay tomorrow after school they are having a parent teacher meeting tomorrow and I need you to go"
     "Why would I want to go to that it's a waste of time all they do is tell me how stupid you are"
     "My English teacher is requiring everyone to go you know to get to know each other or something" I lied knowing he wouldn't be happy if only kids with C or below had to go.
     He walked in the kitchen and stood right next to me just staring I was scared I didn't know if he would hurt me. He looked at me then the food I placed on my plate.
     "Whatever but I changed my mind I'm suddenly hungry" he said as he grabbed my plate of food.
"Now what am I supposed to eat?"
"That's not my problem you have a job go buy something to eat instead of sitting around here eat my food"
"Your food I paid for everything that's in that fridge hell I pay for this whole house because you cant keep a job because all you do is sit around all day while I work my ass off! So you can go buy your own food."
I can't even believe I just said that what was I thinking that was so stupid. His face expression changed so quick and was replaced with pure anger. Next thing I knew I seen his arm come towards me. He smacked he right across the cheek it stung back I brought my hand to my face. It's a feeling you never get used to but this time it was because of my stupid mouth and not because he's just drunk. He grabbed my jaw and shoved my head hard against the fridge door.
     "If you ever talk to me like that again I'll make it were you can never talk again you understand"
     Then he walked out the kitchen leaving me pressed against the fridge. I felt like I couldn't move what just happened it was so fast. I walked up the stairs to my bed room grabbed my bed clothes and put them forget the party. I texted Monica saying I didn't feel good I really didn't though. I sat down with my back against my bed and reached for the lighter on my nightstand. Flicking the lighter on and off thinking about how one little flame could burn a whole building to the ground. It's like it has a mind of its own destroying anything in its path. I brought the lighter to the side of my leg flicked it on and held it there for a few seconds feeling the flame burn my skin. It burns but it burns like a good feeling for those few seconds all my mental pain disappears and I'm just filled with the physical pain. I know it's bad but I can't help myself and it's not like I want to kill myself like everyone assumes someone who's self harming thinks. I just need that free feeling it gives me for that short time and nobody would understand. I hoped into bed and cried till I fell asleep.