Ridley's Punisher|| Frank Castle

1

ridley's pov
i wake beside Ethan and push thoughts of frank away. he's gone ridley. he's not coming back. he died 2 years ago. i moved on. i'm happy. happy. happy. happy. i plaster a smile as his green eyes open. "morning ridley. are you alright?" eyes swimming with worry. i nod "yeah. i'm okay" he kisses me softly and i get up and get dressed after a shower

i make us breakfast and he says "gotta go duty calls" kissing my temple and he asks "we still on for later?" i nod. going out to a bar today, as a simple date. i tell him "stay safe" he smiles "always am" he's a powerful and dangerous man. rich beyond belief due to his illegal activities. frank would hate that shut up. what he would want and would hate does not matter. not anymore. he's dead. dead. dead dead. oh fuck here comes the fucking tears. get a grip. cmon cmon cmon. i finish the food and head to the bathroom and wipe my face and force a smile after splashing water on it. i grab my keys and a sponge and cleaning supplies head to the florist. i get frank some flowers and head to his grave. i swallow thickly. murderer is spray painted in red among other insults. disgracing his grave. i put the flowers down and start to scrub the graffiti off of his headstone. my heart hurting at every word they've left behind. the scars on my heart knowing ill never see frank again. i had hope. i waited for him. he always said he'd come back to me. always. i knew every bit of him. i waited. matt is who came and told me he died. i broke. but then i gained hope. and i waited. and he never came. i made the arrangements for his funeral. there was no body for me to even bury or say goodbye to. he was burned too badly.

i scrub frustrated. when i'm done i hug the only thing i have left of him that's not his dogtags...his headstone and i sniffle "you deserve so much better frank" kissing the stone. i take time to clean Maria's and the kids' stones too from any grime and dirt leaving them flowers as well. i sit with frank and talk about anything and everything. missing him but moving on. just because i'm moving on doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. it doesn't mean i can't still mourn him.

i go to the apartment and put the cleaning supplies away. i moved out of the house frank and i have. i still own it. his stuff a museum of sorts there. i couldn't bare to stay there anymore. i don't live with ethan. but we do stay with one another from time to time. i've always had a hard time with trusting, openly loving, accepting love, care and anything positive. frank revived me. changed that. and without him...i'm back to square one. i'm trying. ethan and i have been together for...almost 6 months now? it's going good. i haven't had sex with him yet. i just can't bring myself to do it.

he's understanding. waiting. there's been no love confessions or a proposal to move in...we're simply just...dating. despite his occupation i enjoy his company. that's when he's not pissed off about something. or lashing out because of it. it happens to the best of us. bad days and lashing out. that's all it is. i check myself over and meet ethan at Josie's. he asks "how's the eye" what? oh right. bruise. i say "it's okay. we're okay" he was pissed off and ranting and i stood too close and he accidentally hit me. that was a few days ago. he's been apologizing and hurt over it since. it was an accident.

was your father hitting your mother an accident too? that's different. he chose to do that. ethan was an accident. he checks it and kisses it gently and says "i'm sorry" i nod "i know." we order food and drinks and have a good time. i swear in the crowd i see frank. but when i blink hes gone. not again. i've hallucinated him before. when i was fresh in mourning. sometimes it happens. says my grief therapist.

we're walking to my place. well ethan is walking. i'm stumbling. i hit a chest and i smell the musk, the faint iron of blood, the cologne i used to buy frank. i move away "oh im sorry" and i look up and freeze. everything freezes. he's here. "frank?"